NAIVALU CLAN

Early Retirement

2009-09-15T08:05:00.000-07:00

I'm retiring from blogging.
I have a new project/commitment that I will be focusing on.
I'm building a team of leaders who are dedicated to having impact, on a large scale, on our society. One branch of that team is going to generate $100,000.00 in international student scholarships for BYU-Hawaii in the next year or so.
I will host a leadership call each Monday for our team. Our purpose is:
To Make A Difference.
It requires commitment,
a dedication to greatness, and
Fearlessness.

Wishing you well,
Angel

CEO MOM

2009-09-04T13:47:00.000-07:00

I believe that mastering the art of running a home and family is the greatest training for leading any organization. That is why I love to read leadership books. While they may have been written for corporate America, they often have themes and principles that enhance the home's efficiency and effectiveness as well.
Currently I'm studying Leadership: Great Leaders, Great Teams, Great Results, by Stephen Covey.

I love the title because I see parents as being the "Leaders," the whole family as the "team," and the family culture as the "Results."
I want to share just one applicable idea that came out of this book. Covey talks about organizations being able to identify their "Wildly Important Goal(s)." Also known as "wigs," for short.
Isn't that a great way of saying, "But what's the MOST IMPORTANT goal we have?"
Last night as I lay in bed, mentally preparing for today, I started to feel the ever-common emergence of stress and anxiety about how much I "had" to get done by the end of the day. There were so many things to do - scrub the bathroom, laundry, teach the kids, respond to messages, prepare Sunday lesson, etc., etc., and then......I CAUGHT MYSELF.
I realized that I was bringing on the "pre-breakdown" syndrome. And I said, "HALT RIGHT THERE!"
Then, I referred back to the Covey book - "What is my WILDLY IMPORTANT GOAL?" Followed by the question, "What's the one thing I can do (or do first) that would make the biggest difference in the entire day?"
That thought process knocked out the anxiety and stress and suddenly put it all in perspective. It was easy to answer and simple to apply: Teach the kids first - meet their basic needs of their bodies, hearts, minds and spirits. I can clean the bathroom when Sai gets home from work.
Problem solved.
Smile.
Gratitude.
Good Night.
(I've said this before, and I'll say it again, when I get a chance to meet Stephen Covey in person, I'm gonna KISS his bald head!)

DO YOU HAVE PARASITES?

2009-08-29T11:02:00.000-07:00

If I say, "parasites," what do you think of? Foreign countries, right? Returned missionaries who served in 3rd world countries. Guess what? People in the USA have parasites!
It is not uncommon or unusual for an American to have parasites. They come from our foods, our water and our pets! Most of the time, these people don't even know it! What they know is that they feel tired, mentally cloudy, and prone to sickness. Why? Parasites consume the nutrients we eat, so nutrition never gets to the organs that need it. Then, parasites deposit their waste inside of us. Not only does this weaken our immune systems, but it causes illness.
I recently met a mom who has a daughter that was diagnosed with Autism. Guess what was discovered later??? She had a WORM! A worm, eating all of the nutrition in her body and leaving her depleted.
Without health, we really have nothing - no energy, no mental clarity, no physical ability to SAY-GO-BE-DO! Income, travel, education, career, it doesn't really matter if we're losing the greater battle.
Are You Toxic? This is why we (the Naivalu Clan) eat super food and cleanse regularly.

Fear of Pain

2009-08-27T08:28:00.000-07:00

Today's thoughts while running BAREFOOT (6 miles) was about pain. In my experience, and from some reading, it appears that in general, people in our society fear pain; And those who don't are considered masochistic.
The fear of pain drives behaviors like avoidance, denial and self-medicating - which can present itself in many types of addictions: food, substances, sleep, RX medication, etc.....
David Wood has said, "That which we resist persists." We EMOTIONALLY RUN, from pain because we FEAR it.
Isn't that odd?
Where/when did we start fearing pain? Our ancestors, just a generation ago, let alone 2 or 3 knew that pain was a part of life.
Have technology and conveniences ... our search for efficiency (as author Chris McDougall says in Born to Run)contributed to this love of ease and fear of pain?
What is the cost?
Looking at my own experiences with emotional and physical pain, like leaving to go on a mission, natural childbirth, running a marathon, to name a few, have all subjected me to some degree of pain yet yielded life-altering rewards. The rewards all far out weigh the pain/sacrifice.
So...why do we fear pain? And what do we miss out on as a result? Where will this take us?
This leads me to think about repentance. How often have I spoken to someone who realizes that his/her choices have caused a separation from the Spirit, yet he/she has not attempted to repent because of...... a FEAR of pain, this time emotional/spiritual pain.
What an illusion!
Weigh the perceived "pain" against the joy of cleanliness, rebirth, love! Is there any comparison?
Going back to the physically "painful" experiences, like childbirth - pain is not terrible, it's a type of communication between the physical body, mind, and spirit. It provides information, guides and instructs, alters thoughts, emotions and behaviors; it promotes growth/progess/advancement.

THROW AWAY YOUR COMFY RUNNING SHOES! GO BAREFOOT! And get back to basics.
PAIN!?! FEAR NOT!

Today's Aspen Daily News

2009-08-25T15:35:00.001-07:00

Dustin Franz/Aspen Daily News
Sikeli Naivalu, 5, poses for a portrait in Wagner Park on Monday. Naivalu, dressed as his favorite historical figure, George Washington, is a history buff and loves to go to the PItkin County Library.

Thoughts While Running...BAREFOOT

2009-08-25T05:54:00.000-07:00

Still reading Born to Run, by McDougall. I can't believe the case he makes correlating injuries and running shoes.
Yesterday I told Sai that I was going to run barefoot.
"Are you crazy?" He said.
"Now that's funny," I responded, "How old were you when you got your first pair of shoes?"
"8 or 9." He responded.
"Does everyone in Fiji wear shoes?" I asked.
"Nope."
"And I'M crazy!?!"
"Ya, well, they've been doing it all their lives." He retorts.
"Well, then, I guess it's time I start." I concluded.

This morning at 5:30 a.m. it was cold. I walked across the street, carrying my shoes, apprehension flooding over me like a tidal wave. I recognized the fearful thoughts in my head, "I don't know how to do this!" Then quickly contradicted the imposter in my mind, "Of course you do...you were born to run!"
The ground was wet from rain. Yet almost instantly, as I began to run, I felt like a child, playfully meandering through the playground. It was easy and fun.
EPIPHANY -
Running is fun!
Our society has killed the natural love for running by making it competitive and painful (through "technology" and "running shoes").
By punishing athletes with ladders and sprints,
By holding track meets where a small percentage of all kids are recognized for speed and the rest left feeling like they're not runners. (Big issue for me. This morning I recreated my elementary school track meet in my head. I remember who was there and who won. Then, while I ran barefoot, I spoke to them, "How many of you can do this? How many of you will be with me at mile 26 in 6 weeks? Who are you to say I can't run?")
Everything I'd read about Barefoot Ted in Born to Run was right on. My foot just knew what to do to avoid rocks and pokies. I naturally improved my posture and speed. And, did I mention, IT WAS FUN!
I've decided I'm going to train barefoot a few days a week. And when I'm with my kids, I will not use the phrase, "Slow down, don't run." If they start to run, I'll run with them. I want them to know that running is natural and fun and that we are built to run.
I'm taking their tennis shoes away and esp. Aisea's orthodics (communist contraptions.)
This is so fun and so freeing.

I challenge YOU, if you hate to run, GO BAREFOOT and revive your childhood joy!
(Honestly, I'm not a bra-burning hippy.....not yet :)

HERE I AM!

2009-08-12T17:25:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I was able to spend time with my husband! What a concept! We (along with nursing baby, Josaia) went to Anaheim.
Here is Sai wearing Josaia in a sling and telling him about seagulls:

We had a weekend packed full of new friends, new information on nutrition and new motivation to succeed in life.

Hearing from doctors, nutritionists and individuals on the topics of our environment, our food, and our bodies, has excited us more than ever to get the best into ourselves and our children.
Here is a photo of me at the convention. May I just say that I gained 50 lbs while pregnant. Josaia is 4 months old. I have never gotten rid of baby weight this fast - nutritional cleansing works.
And, I've never had so much milk for the baby! Breastfeeding this time around has been totally different from any of the other 3 boys' experiences. Just look at chunky monkey Josaia!

Here we our with our friend, Ryan Rhoades, who weighed nearly 500 lbs at the beginning of this year. Ryan has lost 163 lbs in 8 months - no joke.

He won 2nd place, $2,000.00, in a fitness challenge. We are SO proud of you, Ryan!!! His whole life has changed!
More than anything, we were INSPIRED by life changes - health and weight are inevitably interconnected to accessing human potential. We beleive that physical self-mastery is the doorway to achievement, impact, and joy. When we are physically limited, we become mentally, emotionally and financially limited. Many people in our society are losing sight, losing hope, of dreams. People don't really dream anymore. The "American Dream," is more of a long, lost legend than a reality. It doesn't have to be. We are living our dreams and we are committed to being DREAM-MAKERS, helping others to rediscover and live their dreams too!

Just In Time!!!

2009-08-06T12:26:00.001-07:00

I was JUST getting to the point of no return when it comes to my frustration with CDs! I love having kids songs and audio books to play in the car and at home, however, it seems no matter how hard I try to protect the CD's, they scratch within months. I've tried copying them and keeping an "archive" original, yet WHAT A HASSLE! I love what they learn from audio books and how their creativity and thinking emerges, (in contrast to TV). It introduces them to more classic stories and lessons and values being taught in age appropriate language and broadens their interests.

At the library this week, I discovered that they carry Playaways. Are you all onto this already? If not, check this out!

http://www.playaway.com/

It's a digital book! No skipping CDs, no cassettes, just a book. Plug in the headphones and take it anywhere. You can check them out at the library...or, I just discovered that you can rent them via the mail!
http://www.simplyaudiobooks.com/
This is incredible! I am SO signed up for 3 books at once - my running has just been revolutionized! Think about it...I can run AND LEARN at the same time! I am SO JAZZED!

A New, Competitive Sport - Couponing!

2009-08-04T06:39:00.001-07:00

Did you know that "couponing" is a verb?
Apparently, it is.
A few months ago, while in Utah, I was able to attend a Coupon Class. If you haven't jumped on board with this yet, let me just say there is absolutely no reason why every LDS woman isn't doing this!!!
Internet has made the whole coupon world so simple.
Did you know that Safeway stores allow you to upload coupons right onto your store's discount card - no cutting, saving, etc. They just get redeemed whenever you buy the certain item and they're automatically deleted when they expire! I can't wait til every store operates like this.
Ok. Utah people, get with Jodi Gardner and clan. She'll teach you at your home, or at an enrichment, and it's so fun and easy.
http://www.shoppingsmartswithjodi.blogspot.com/

Here's the direct website, but Jodi will help you navigate it and understand this.
http://grocerysmarts.com/utah/lists/splashg84cjg.php
For the rest of us, there are many websites, but I am falling in love with www.couponmom.com

Here is the Coupn Queen, herself:

As I've participated in the class and been getting started with this, I have been SUPER EXCITED about the 3 key areas of potential that, "competitive couponing," (as I call it, it's my new endurance sport) has to offer every family:
1 - Saving Money and Becoming Debt Free
By using your grocery savings and applying it toward credit card, car, student loans, etc., you can move toward being debt free even quicker!
2 - Building Food Storage - Hello! Am I the only one who knows in my heart that this is so important, and yet, do I have a 2 year supply? So imagine if Mac and Cheese only costs you $.09 per box on a sale day b/c you have a coupon. Could you get a 6 month supply of it? What if toilet paper is free this week? You can build your food storage FAST without spending a dime more to do it!
3 - CHARITY - true self-reliance means being in a position to help others, I believe. When Coupon Class Lady, Jodi, mentioned how she donates loads of items to the Boy Scouts' Food Drive, to homeless shelters, for Christmas food drives, and even to her niece who is a "poor college student," the light bulb went on. If you have loads of household items like toothpaste, shampoo, cleaners, and food, are you not totally in a position to help anyone who is in need?

As I am a greenie at this - I would love any veterans to share their pearls with me.

And I challenge YOU to join me in seeing who can save the most this month - LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

How Can I Teach All This?

2009-07-30T15:04:00.000-07:00

Long ago when I was first introduced to Leadership Education, I was also introduced to my ignorance and poorly educated background. Now this was 2005, post-graduate school. Having thought I had accomplished something academically, I was brought to the sad realization that, while I HAD earned degrees, I HAD NOT obtained an education.

I had to choose what to do next: was I going to shrink into the dust out of anger, fear and disillusionment, or would I start over in "preschool" and begin my education again, or build upon what little I had, with a Leadership Education paradigm?

I decided I wasn't ready to die, just yet, so I opted for #2.

I worried, initially, that I didn't have enough knowledge across the wide range of academia to be able to apply this paradigm in a homeschool setting for my children (it can be applied in any home setting, even when children attend public, private, or homeschool. The home can still be a Leadership Education home). But as I studied the "how-to's," my fears were quickly dispelled.

A recent experience, once again, excited me about the path we're on. Sai takes the kids to the Aspen Physics institute each week for a kids' science night. They host a barbecue on the lawn and have prominent scientists from around the country INSPIRE children with short presentations on various topics.

The activity begins each week with a teenage brother/sister team who do a science experiment right before the children's eyes. Sai met these teen's mother and, upon inquiring about her kids' interest in science, discovered that they are homeschooled. He then asked if she or her husband were scientists. She said neither of them were, but that they had championed their children's interests and exposed them to great mentors in the field of science. The family had been to universities for courses with their teens and just linked them with resources for their interests.

When Sai shared this with me, my thoughts were, "And to think that I may have once worried that I didn't know enough to teach some subject to my kids! I love them and I love to see them love learning; I can do just what these parents have done - admit my weaknesses and bypass them with mentors who can tutor ALL of us in our family!"

We love Aspen! We just roam around each day experiencing so much. And yet my mind sometimes wanders to think of all of the places, people and ideas there are in the world. Sometimes I think, "There's so much to learn, who has time to sit in school?"

Today While Running...

2009-07-29T06:07:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about the change process in therapy. The only thing a therapist can really do to help a client is by living what she/he preaches. Regardless of what the therapist says, no matter how true the principles or how effective the behavioral strategies, her words are only as good as her own practice of them.
Why do I believe this?
Simply put, I believe in the motto of Leadership Education, coined by Tiffany Earl, "Inspire Not Require."
I conceptualize the process of change as one when the inner soul or spirit of a person listens to the voice of truth (i.e. the Holy Ghost) and is motivated to act on that voice because of an example (an "inspiring" example) in someone or something they've seen.
That's why I believe it's a principle applicable whether you're a therapist, a parent, a teacher, anyone trying to motivate someone - we must all understand the power in the concept of inspiring over requiring.
Now, obviously, there are moments like, "GET OUT OF THE STREET!" When you just require a child to do something.
But as I listen to myself and my spouse and make observations in public, I notice so much of the adult/child relationship is dictated by requiring children to do things that the parent doesn't do. I want to improve on this.
This seems as effective as policmen on the freeway monitoring speeding. What happens? The speeder slows down while passing the policeman, and then speeds up again later. There's no fundamental change in attitude or behavior. In fact, it encourages a challenge of authority, getting away with something, a sneaky feeling of success. I see kids behaving the same way.
I was thinking of how impactful it is to inspire a child through modeling. My kids are inspired to read when I'm reading; they are inspired to run because I run; they are inspired to go to church when I talk about how much I love church......
they are inspired to eat vegetables because I eat vegetables!
INSPIRE NOT REQUIRE

So what DO you eat?

2009-07-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

I've been asked what we eat for breakfast if cold cereal is out. We do hot cereals: oatmeal (not instant, the kids call that "slimy oatmeal"), 10 grain, Zoom (whole wheat), cream of wheat, eggs and whole grain pancakes, etc. The greatest result was one day when I offered them "emergency food," (i.e. Life cereal,) and they said, "Mom, can we just have hot cereal?" It was so great to see their change. When THEY know what good nutrition feels like, they crave that. YIPEE!

I ran 13 miles today - It wasn't fast, nor pretty, but I did it. 10 weeks to go until the marathon.

In this journey, of health, I have desired to be a vegetarian. However, I'm stuck, because the recipes I look up online are so sickly UNHEALTHY! Tons of sauces and cheese and just stuff I don't want to eat. So if anyone can guide me in this, please do.

Thoughts While Running

2009-07-21T06:10:00.000-07:00

I'm reading Born to Run, by McDougall. It's about an indigenous Mexican tribe who are called the "Running People." They race for days at a time, without stopping!
It's brought so many things to mind about the power of the human body - it is a miracle that God created. Also about the fuel we put into our body. When I consider the diet of the Tarahumara (Mexican Tribe) in contrast to the overabundance of toxic waste we Americans call, "food," the correlation between our ills, disease, emotionality/mental illness, and inability to run up a flight of stairs is OBVIOUS!

Today I thought about my kids and how I had been a person who said, "We eat healthy." Which is now a phrase I chuckle at when I hear. The American definition of "healthy," and the body's own definition of "fuel," are not in the same category. Several months ago I did an in-house experiment; I just stopped buying packaged snacks. Just stopped. Crackers, mainly, were the culprit. The fast, throw-at-them-in-the-car-easy-to-vacuum-up-later kind of snacks. When I realized, thanks to Nutritionist Jim Rhoades, that high fructose syrups are a slow death, I began to see that they are in a majority of what I feed my kids in between meals. Then guess what? Getting lots of fruits and veggies in them was a challenge at meal time. Cold cereal - also went out the window -NO MORE. I had thought that just because I never did the cheapy bags and did Quaker or Post "healthy" cereals, that we were doing alright - WRONG! Behind the "nutritious" advertising - is high fructose syrup. This kills the immune system and is equal to putting sugar into your car's gas tank. Ever heard what that does to an engine? Well, do you value your car or your body more?
So guess what the result of the experiment was? After the first day of, "Mom, I want cheese crackers!"
"Sorry, we don't have any."
"What do we have?"
"You can choose between craisins, prunes, or apple slices."
And guess what? They ate it. Now, when we head out the door, the snack bag looks like this: celery sticks, baby carrots, apple slices and water bottles. Guess who gets sick less? Guess who has more energy? They are walking about 2 miles a day with me around town now - plus running and playing at the park. Guess who has digestive systems that are working well?

STOP THE INSANITY! My thoughts this morning while running - to inspire other moms to free their kids from the addictive addititives in packaged foods. Bless their bodies, minds and spirits by setting them free!

So much for good intentions...

2009-07-16T15:14:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well....
I had exciting things to post and I was accumulating great photos along the way to announce that we have moved back to Aspen, CO for the most beautiful time of year! And then, guess what? I lost my camera last week! All of those photos, gone! I think I left it in Denver. We drove to Denver to go to the temple and it was closed, by the way. So that little 3 1/2 hour trip turned into a day at the science museum. That was really fun and we thank Uncle Noa for hosting us.

Ah, life.

I am loving running (marathon training) early in the morning up here at 8,000 ft. I realized that when I run, I dream. I commune with God. I feel alive and invincible. I do not experience doubt and fear. I am happy. The world seems open and available, as if anything is possible. Those endorphins are something else!!!
This is how I feel:

I am a colorful hot-air balloon
rising with the sun
peacefully floating
gliding
in the moment
experiencing the cool mist of morn
the stillness
able to move above and beyond
Untouchable

More On Simulations

2009-06-26T21:06:00.000-07:00

The power of simulations has impressed me for quite a while now. I wanted to share some other types of simulations we've used to teach principles or provide learning opportunities:

GENTLEMEN BEHAVIOR - I have envisioned that I want sons that know proper behavior; they need to know there's a time and a place to wrestle and other situations where more formal etiquette is necessary. I'm not at all against wrestling and rough housing. Research shows it positively impacts the ability to set boundaries. It's more the TIMING of the wrestling that matters to me. Sacrament mtg., for example, is NOT my favorite time to play Don King.

When desires to wrestle are apparent - I like to set the stage for it. We create a padded wrestling stage, go over rules like "No biting, punching or kicking," and teach proper take downs and pins. Then they start in their corners and obey the start/stop whistle. This is a simulation. I think it teaches skills, allows aggression to escape and also teaches self-control b/c they learn to start and stop the activity, not letting it escalate until someone needs a ride to the ER.

Next - in raising gentlemen, I was trying to think of a medium to teach them appropriate behaviors, other than lectures :) That's when I became hooked on Knights. I love the code of Knights and stories that teach great values of bravery, loyalty, honor, chivalry, etc. So we use knight books, dress ups, acting out scenes, etc. as a medium for developing the values of knighthood.

Another desire I had was to be able to take my children to others' homes, such as for visiting teaching, if I absolutely HAD to take them, and have them behave respectably. So I teach one older lady who lives in a small apt with "old lady things." She's delightfully tolerant of children, wonderful to them. I called her one day to ask if she would participate as a hostess for our "Gentlemen's camp." That's what we call it. I explained to my boys that adults like children who behave well. I stated that clearly about 3 times. Then I shared that when adults like children, they often give them special privileges, opportunities, attention and rewards. On the way to the woman's house, I gave examples of how to act in a new person's home, how to ask for permission to touch things, how to speak properly, etc. At the home I just let them explore, interjecting at times to help script the conversation. For example, I'd see Aisea reaching for a glass vase and I'd say, "Aisea, say 'Sister Young, can I hold this vase?'" He'd pause and repeat that phrase. We did this type of coaching throughout the visit and when I could tell their interest was beginning to wear, we ended the visit. Sister Young was very complimentary to the boys and had a treat for them. As we left, I affirmed their behaviors and reiterated, "Adults LIKE children with good behaviors. She said you are welcome to come to her house again!"
They enjoy our "Gentlemen's Camp," and also now have another "friend," at church that they enjoy sitting by, doing things for, and just saying "Hi," to each week. (I think it makes her day too.)

Simulations for building confidence and self-worth:
I know these are critical core beliefs and are built early on. Therefore, I want my children to feel a sense of mastery in the experiences they have. I believe that is how they build confidence and self-worth. When they are asked to give talks, sing or say a scripture at church, for example, I do two things: 1st, I let them choose the topic (or scripture) and dictate the talk to me. That way, it's their words, their testimony and by me helping them share what THEY want to share, I feel it validates them, their knowledge and their abilities. 2nd we go up to the church during the week and rehearse their talk several times with the microphone. I just make it fun, not like a forced "YOU MUST DO THIS," kind of drill. We have fun. They play with the mic and sing in to it, make funny sounds...get all that "boy stuff" out of their system, and then they're ready to really practice. I refer to General Conference speakers they've seen and remind them of those behaviors, giving them a visual for posture, reverence and delivery. After they've done it a few times, we go an play in the nursery. It's just a fun practice trip to the church. Then I'll read their talks to them while they eat breakfast a couple of more times, not asking them to recite it, just letting them listen while I read with feeling and emphasis. These are simulations. When the real event happens, they're comfortable and prepared. They give great deliveries and receive affirmations from others that reinforces the principles of confidence and self-worth.

It seems that almost anything can be taught through simulations and they are empowering. They empower the child to overcome fears and anxieties while in a safe, confined situation. They build confidence and self-worth, provide a depth and breadth of experiences, build logical processing skills, and ultimately set a precedence for them to learn to practice, practice, practice anything they want to become better at.

True Joy Comes from Living Priorities

2009-06-22T14:22:00.000-07:00

I love marathon training!!! It's NOT about running - running is just the vehicle for peace of mind, solitude, and inspiration.
This morning, while running, I realized that my mission in life is tied to my top three priorities:
1. Spiritual Progression
2. Physical and Mental Health
3. A Great Leadership Education

These are the things I most value, most desire, for myself and my family, and what I wish to share with the world.

Today I want to highlight a story that brings me great joy. Being a vehicle in changing people's lives brings me real, lasting happiness. Way to go, Rachel!!!

Here is Rachel - from Hawaii -
She lost 50 lbs in 12 weeks! She feels incredible, both physically and mentally/emotionally!

Rachel loves how she feels, physically and mentally on Isagenix - but she was having trouble with how much it cost. Then she took out her financial records and reviewed the money she'd spent over the past couple of years trying, unsuccessfully, to lose weight:
24 Hour Fitness - with a personal trainer 3 times a week - $3,000.00-$4,000.00 - she didn't lose weight.
2 Attempts at Weight Watchers - $300 - $500 per month, including the classes, coaching and foods they tell you to buy. She didn't lose weight.
Then she quit her stressful job as a social worker and wanted to have her own business - distributing a makeup line - that start up and inventory cost her $5,000.00 and didn't go anywhere - she still has product on hand that she hasn't sold.
After reviewing the numbers - she is now celebrating how cost effective - even CHEAP - Isagenix is. Not only is it cost effective, she says, the best part is......IT REALLY WORKS!

Not the Ideal Simulation

2009-06-15T05:31:00.000-07:00

Last week we had a family function in Las Vegas. The town, itself, is not my ideal place to live, play, or be. However, I do have memories of going to Vegas on occasion as a child and driving up and down the Las Vegas Strip, marveling at the big buildings and lights and all the hustle and bustle. So, being the brilliant mother that I am (sarcasm there, you'll see), I suggested to Sai that we go down earlier in the day to take our boys to see the Exclaibur hotel, the NY NY, and other "great sights" on the strip. All I can say is - BIG MISTAKE!
We parked at the Excalibur and walked through - the casino. Not much to see except some same sex love and enough smoke to cook a pig. My boys had their noses covered as we hurried through the building, hoping the polution outside would not be as bad as it was inside. There were a couple of statues of knights - the highlight, but not much else. We walked out on the strip and saw the Statue of Liberty and then got trapped in blocks of construction. Half the strip was demolished and there were construction barricades/tunnels that we had to walk through. This is where it gets ugly. We passed many soliciters who were trying to pass out cards, that looked like baseball cards. We just passed by them, but when we got into the tunnels, the ground was littered with these cards and they were...inappropriate and immoral (don't want to link my blog with any specific words, so I hope you get the point). I wanted to die. There we were, stuck in a bleak tunnel, nothing to look at, but the ground, littered in these pictures. Shocked, I told my boys, "Look up! Can you see the clouds?" I tried to keep their eyes toward the sky as we walked and walked through this seemingly endless hell. Once out, we were still bombarded with the soliciters as well as huge passing trucks touting billboards with topless girls in undies. We determined that Sai would run back and get the van and come rescue us, so that we wouldn't have to go back through "hell."
I was devastated - only a mother can relate - here I pray and worry daily about what my children will be faced with and exposed to in their lives, and then I bring them face to face with evil. I wished for a magic wand. I regretted being so stupid and clueless. Then I realized, I had to teach. I noticed Sikeli seeing one of the disgraceful passing trucks and I made eye contact with him and said, "Remember what I've said about modesty? The Lord wants us to respect our bodies. Satan wants us to show them off and have others look at them. That's not okay." I apologized to them for bringing them into the Lion's Den. I told them I hadn't realized it was so filthy. I asked Sikeli if he felt the same spirit there as he does when we go to the temple grounds - he shook his head, no. Then I related our experience to Lehi's dream, saying, "Remember the 'mists of darkness?' Where people get off the path and are led away to sin? This is what that means. People are here thinking this is fun and entertaining, and it's not. It's fake. It's the temptations of Satan." We had some discussions and I felt some sense of peace and hope.
We found a secluded, grassy spot to play and wait for dad.
Relieved for the refuge, I fought back tears. Tears for my stupidity, and tears for the realization that this is the world today. That no matter what I do, my children will walk in a world of filth - one that is far different from the world I knew as a child. One where blatant sin traps have replaced subtle temptations. I'm raising leaders - priesthood leaders - missionaries - husbands - fathers. I realized that this is no small endeavor. EVERY DAY COUNTS! Every interaction either builds and solidifies their strength, character and testimony, or challenges it. As Julie Beck said, "Mothers Who Know Are Teachers." We must be. Because they WILL be taught - the only question is, "If not by us, then by who?" The answer: The World.
This experience follows the recent theme in my life - the need for simulations and educational experiences - and added to my conviction to make every day a spiritual, principle-based, learning experience.
May God be with all of us as mothers.

Simulations - I

2009-06-11T16:18:00.000-07:00

I'm getting serious about SIMULATIONS - creating teaching opportunities is so fun and more importantly, effective. Here's what happened today:

I decided my "Knights of Fiji," (Sikeli and Aisea) needed to venture out on a "Quest of Safety." They had never been around the neighborhood block alone before. I informed them of their "Quest," to stay on the sidewalk, go all the way around the block, not cross any streets and to not go anywhere with any kids or adults. I coached them on what to say if anyone should approach them, esp. if some adults were concerned that they were unsupervised. Armed with their "weapons," (a spyglass in one hand and a stick in the other), off they went.

Just as they rounded the corner, a friend appeared in our driveway in his dune buggy car. The boys love to ride in this topless gas guzzler. I told the friend of our quest and asked him to find the boys and tempt them to ride with him. He agreed, and off he went. It wasn't long before he was back in my driveway, noticeably solo in his buggy. He told me that he had invited the boys to go for a ride. He said Aisea was eager, but Sikeli told him, "No, we won't!" As the driver egged them on, saying, "Come on, it will be fun!" Sikeli shook his head and said, "NO!" And then walked away. Eventually, Aisea followed his older brother.
I was SO ECSTATIC! That was a hard test - to have someone they know invite them to do something they love doing. But they PASSED THE QUEST!
When they returned, I met them at the porch and congratulated them on a job well done. They earned the title of Knights for their bravery and obedience!

It Clicked

2009-06-09T05:14:00.000-07:00

FAMILY 1 MILE FUN-RUN AS PART OF A MEDIEVAL FESTIVAL
In other news...
I had one of those moments when something I had learned in the past, suddenly sunk all the way in.
It happened at the library. I was just watching my boys participate in a program and make their way about the library, each attending to his own favorite section, and I suddenly got it: Core Phase.
Leadership Education (by Oliver DeMille) defines "phases" of learning, rather than grades. The first phase is called "Core Phase," b/c it's the development of the "core" of a person - his/her allegiance to God, Self, Others or the Adversary. And it roughly encompasses the ages of 0-8. In short, it's character building, values, morals,...the inner compass...that which guides the individual throughout life. Imagine the coincidence that research shows that by age 8 a person develops his/her character/personality and at that age we become accountable in the eyes of God.
As I sat observing children in the library, it just hit me, and just clicked: kids can learn anything; Therefore, I can spend my time drilling them on flashcards, with info, facts, trivia, etc., teaching them colors, letters, numbers,...yada yada yada...all the academics and they could learn it and become "brainiacs," or I could relax on that and focus all my energy (at this period in their life) on character (coupled with a love of learning - meaning, making learning fun and just part of our family culture)and at the appropriate time (which is the Scholar Phase - adolescence)integrate intensive academic focus.
It was as if I could see in that moment the long term ramifications of each pursuit. And it just clicked! I noticed kids who were NOT in Core Phase - there were kids at the library who said rude and mean things to other kids. They didn't listen to, or obey the teacher; They weren't aware of others; They weren't really processing the discussions, rather just being herded around like cattle, going here and there as dictated by the teacher and/or parents and mostly in their own little worlds. This question came to mind, "When will these behaviors change?" The answer, "They won't. The kids will just get bigger."
I could see character (or lack of it) being built right there. I realized that GREATNESS forms early on. I felt that honestly, nothing matters more, nor will bring more joy to my sons in their lives, than
learning to work - I'd rather have them in a garden than at a desk right now;
Learning to serve - I'd rather have them writing thank-yous to people than practicing handwriting scripts;
Learning true principles - I'd rather have them reading scripture and church history books for children than Dora the Explorer....and the like;
Learning the classics - I'd rather have them singing and reciting nursery rhymes, songs from plays, classic fairytales, .... then becoming familiar with the latest cartoons;
Learning loyalty to family - I'd rather have them spending time with their brothers, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, than playing with their "best friend" down the street while ostracizing a sibling;
Learning to behave like gentlemen - I'd prefer that they know proper etiquette and understand appropriate times and places for certain behaviors, than to behave as monkeys or "boys just being boys," in response to outsider opinions of them and of boys in general.

And the finale in this "ah-ha" moments was: And all of these things that I want them to know...MUST BE TAUGHT. They won't just know them. They won't just accidentally develop them - they must be taught. AND in order to be taught, I have to create situations - better yet - SIMULATIONS - in which they can be taught and practice each of these things. Wow. There's a curriculum for you. Who has time for school with all this learning that needs to take place :)

Gettin' Cultured - Part 2

2009-05-18T06:01:00.000-07:00

I was so inspired by my dad's "Tractor Square Dancing" that I felt it was time to take my boys back to where it all began.
My dad was raised on a ranch near the Beaver Dam State Park in NV. It's been years since I've been to the ranch, and my boys have no memory of it. So this past week we convinced grandpa to take us to the ranch for a few days. No cell phone service, no internet, no traffic....just nature. It was an "ah-hah" for me. So many of us discuss the growing, yearning desire to live more simply, more healthily, more happily - yet we continue to live day to day in an ever increasing state of chaos and "busy-ness." I believe this desire is part of the collective unconscious - a trend occuring throughout society, yet many are unaware of what they're feeling and worse yet, unaware of what they can do about it.
So what can we do about it? Just get in the car and GO! (Okay, it may help if you HAVE a ranch to go to...:) It was SO freeing. The peace and stillness of the ranch was conducive to a peace and stillness within me. It opened the channels of inpsiration and put my children into focus as the priority, over other time demanding/consuming "necesseties" of my typical home life.
We stopped by the Hafen ranch on our way to the Mathews ranch. Let me just say, I was overwhelmed. I have known these people all my life - in fact, our families are currently in their 5th generation of sociality - one with another. However, on this trip, I was impressed by the thought, "This is what's meant by 'salt of the earth.' These people are truly that!"

Here are my boys at the Hafen ranch in front of the old school house where their great-grandpa Mathews attended school.

Here are some photos of a great-grandpa Hafen entertaining my kids as if they were his own. Love you people!!!

Then at the Mathews' Ranch we leared all about our grandpa's upbringing. My boys had a great time - Thanks Grandpa!

Gettin' Cultured

2009-05-11T21:26:00.000-07:00

My dad was raised on a ranch. He wears wranglers and western cut shirts, everyday. He wears "nice" boots to church. He watches RFD TV (never heard of it? Consider yourself LUCKY!) He recently retired and with lots more time on his hands he has been becoming more and more savvy with his internet skills - as a result of some tutorials from my brother. My dad's favorite site is Youtube. I find my children sitting with my dad watching the most interesting (sarcasm there) things. When I ask him what he's exposing my children to, he replies, "They're gettin' cultured."
Here is one clip I just couldn't resist sharing with you. This is the type of "culture" we get in my house.

Amazing

2009-05-06T00:20:00.000-07:00

Just a quick plug - www.sanaejamesphoto.com

This friend of mine, a mom, a photographer, has gone from having a photo hobby to putting out images that look like a high end fashion magazine photographer!!!
Sanae - your work is AMAZING! Where were you when I needed a family photo shoot???
I want to hear comments from what you all think - I really can't believe that she is an "amateur."

Just for fun

2009-05-06T00:04:00.001-07:00

Here are some photos. While getting pictures done, my husband whispered to me regarding the photographer, "She's no Natalie Norton." We miss you NAT!

Empowerment

2009-04-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

The word, "Empowerment," to me, is not a neo-nazi-feminist word that should scare anyone. It simply means: to have the ability, and permission, to accomplish something. Disempowerment is the opposite - it's when the environment is controlled by a dominating force which suppresses the individual's agency.
I believe that at times our own choices disempower us - we give our power away to external forces - and live a far less effective, less satisfying, less impactful life, than we could.
I love Victor Frankl's own example from his experience inside of a Nazi concentration camp, detailed in "Man's Search for Meaning." He teaches that while "liberty" (your ability to move about at will) may be controlled by others, "freedom" is completely up to you - it is a state of mind.
Through this type of "freedom," empowerment emerges.
I believe in empowerment - as a principle. I want to empower my children to have and use their inner compass - to have the character to act with integrity and the self-worth to overcome sin.
I want to empower my husband to feel comfortable in his greatness.
I want to empower my friends to live their dreams.
I want to empower LDS women to be truly happy by shedding limiting beliefs about perfectionism.
I want to empower women everywhere to accept their beauty and potential and to not play small.
In order to do any of this - I must first empower myself.
Homebirth was a powerful experience that added to my sense of empowerment. I was able to create a birthing environment that gave me permission to do, say and feel anything I wanted to, anything that felt natural or necessary. I was not inhibited in the least. It provided me with the space to maximize my OWN abilities and strengthen my faith and reliance on the Lord.
Another empowering experience is marathon running, and since I just REGISTERED FOR THE ST. GEORGE MARATHON, coming up in October, I wanted to highlight this empowering endeavor by sharing one of my favorite clips. I believe that empowerment evolves from sacrifice and pain because they are intrinsically linked to triumph, success and greatness. Here is a look at why 5 people run - it hits home for me.

Share the Cause

2009-04-22T16:39:00.000-07:00

My favorite line is..."anyone who walks away from this, walks away from the obvious." (may be paraphrased).
Really, truly, if we don't have our health, what do we have????
These are some questions I've asked myself lately:
1 - Do I know ANY family that doesn't have at least 1 person with a preventable/degenerative health condition?
2 - Do I know why my kids' immune systems are so low? (Why they repeatedly have colds and coughs).
3 - Do I know what is in the water I drink?
4 - Do I know where my foods come from - where and how they're grown?
5 - Do I know what hormone injected cows and chickens do to my body and my kids'?
6 - Do I see the increase in disease within our society, affecting kids at a younger and younger age?
7 - Do I get that it is an environmental issue - that "toxins" are real?
8 - Is it true what I've heard that this generation of kids will die at an earlier age than their parents - a 1st in the history of America (a "1st world" nation.)
9 - Is it true that obesity just surpassed tobacco as a leading killer in America?
10 - Is it really that common for kids to have bowel/constipation problems? (I thought it was just my kids).
I find more and more moms becoming educated and concerned about these things. I want to learn from any of you - what do you know and what are you doing about it?

Meeting the Brothers

2009-04-09T21:42:00.000-07:00

Here are glimpses of the first moments that each Naivalu boy had with their new baby. We introduced each of the older brothers, one at a time, so they could spend some time just with mom and baby alone. Each one was in awe of their new little brother. When it was Aisea's turn, he entered the room and said, "Oh my goodness, it's a BABY!"
Pictured below are the "Birthing Team" members - Grandma Mathews & Liz - the midwife, Sai, Angie & Anja.

The Outcome!

2009-04-07T20:28:00.000-07:00

(Yes, both eyes open...just not for photos!)
Josaia was overdue, we later learned, because he was quite entangled in the cord, including twice around his neck, so tightly, that the midwife couldn't slip her finger between his neck and cord to release it. When he was fully born, a few sommersaults got him untangled. He had been "held up" inside and had not descended for this reason. Thus my body had not been triggered into labor. I tried everything - even castor oil! Thank heavens the Lord prevented MY efforts until the right timing and spirit were there. It was all a beautiful miracle!

Josaia David Naivalu - born at home on 2:51 a.m. on Friday, April 3, 2009
8 lbs 7 oz. 21 inches long.
I have written a full-length birth story as a record of this awesome event. I would gladly email it to anyone interested in more details. To summarize the lessons learned from this very special home birth, I have listed the following key points:

1. Trust in the Lord. Moments after Josaia’s safe arrival, I reflected on this scripture: Ether 12:6 (from the Book of Mormon) states, “ And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.” God WAS with me all along – even when I felt unsure of what decisions to make. I had to make them myself and proceed with faith, knowing that He would intercede and prompt me otherwise if I was not following His will.
2. Letting Go of Pain. Angie facilitated this great lesson. After each contraction, she would smooth her hands over my face and body and say, “Let it go. That one is over and you never have to live it again.” The profound lesson is that with any pain, hurt, discouragement or despair in life, once the moment is over, LET IT GO! Once you’ve lived through it, it’s over and you never have to repeat that exact same moment. Staying in the present this way helped me to not fear the upcoming contraction. It helped me to not carrying the tension of the past into the future. This made each contraction a unique effort and ultimately more bearable. I know that if I can live my life this way, releasing any resentment, anger, fear, shame…..as the moment passes, I will have healthier relationships and ultimately more joy from day to day.
3. My Joy is Directly Related to My Pain and Sacrifice. I believe there is opposition in all things and that the opposition is always equal in intensity to the potential for joy. Anything I do that is easy, or nearly effortless, will bring that same level of satisfaction and joy with it. Anything I do that requires work, sacrifice, and/or pain will bring with it that same level of satisfaction and joy. A marathon is a good example. For me, running a marathon is the celebration party after months of hard training. Crossing the finish line is pure elation. Homebirth has blessed me with a similar, almost unexplainable level of satisfaction and joy. I never would have understood it, had I not experienced it.

I am truly grateful for this experience and in every way, on every account, I personally prefer my home birth experience over my hospital births.

Thank you Mom. Thank you Sai. Thank you Angie. Thank you Anja. Thank you Liz. Thank you Josaia. Thank you Heavenly Father.
And thank you to all who sent messages and prayers in our behalf!

Still pregnant

2009-03-29T05:43:00.001-07:00

Update - I'm still here. Baby is hibernating. Just sitting up high. Wish I had more news for you.

Pet Peeve

2009-03-20T14:05:00.000-07:00

Today is my due date - I swore I wouldn't let my due date bother me, that I'd let it come and go and just enjoy this "natural" process thing. However, with my husband working out of town, 7 hours away, I really wanted to make sure he'd be here. So he has a whole 4 day weekend off and has to return on Monday and I was feeling a little anxious to get things going by today. However, nothing is happening. I had some contractions yesterday following my pedicure and full body massage and Cafe Rio dinner (I tried)but they stopped. I think it was a good thing b/c I was up all night with a kid coughing his head off- nothing soothed it, and he had an earache - nothing stopped the pain. So today I was able to get all 3 boys checked out. Now I think we have everything to help them feel better, so maybe I can go into labor?

But my real PET PEEVE for today, is probably a small thing when you're NOT an overtired, overdue pregnant lady. Here it is: When I go to a pediatrician's office and I see kid after kid coming OUT of the office with a sucker, I seriously want to shout! I considered putting a sign on the sucker dish that said, "Take One - it's our job security." So your kid is there b/c they're sick and they will likely get some RX antibiotic and then are sent out with sugar, which depresses the immune system and is seriously only detrimental to the body and mind!?! I don't get it. I just don't get it. It really does not strengthen my faith in medical personnel.

Lincoln's Birthday Party

2009-02-28T20:36:00.001-08:00

We recently held a birthday party for Abraham Lincoln. We have enjoyed learning about "Honest Abe" and wanted to honor him for his birthday. We invited our cousins and a few friends over for a few activities, cake and ice cream, and then, A VISIT FROM ABE HIMSELF!

Update on Meditation

2009-02-24T05:44:00.000-08:00

My "ah-hah."
In what state of mind do you receive revelation/spiritual inspiration? Past, present or future?
Easy question, isn't it?
The present. The Holy Ghost cannot speak to you in the past or the future, right?
Now, honestly, out of 100% of your day, what percentage do you think you spend in meditation, or in other words, in the present?
My brother answered by saying, "About 2%."
Phenomenal!
That 2% has an interesting correlation with what brain research shows in the book The Answer. It states that our conscious minds account for about 2-4% of our daily activity and that our unconscious minds control 96-98% of what takes place in our lives.
How much of our lives, then, is directed by the Spirit?
What spurred this was reading Julie Beck's testimony in the March 2009 Ensign. On page 19 she states, "Each sister should seek to have the Holy Ghost guide her." It is such a common sentiment in our church, that it's almost unnoticeable. However, I've had meditation and being in the present on my mind. So I asked myself, "When can the Holy Ghost speak to me?"
It is true that most of us spend most of our day in the past or the future. Yet, many of us would agree that our goal is to "live by the Spirit." Well, perhaps there's more of a formula or behavioral approach to accomplishing that goal than we think. Maybe it takes more physiological effort than simply stating that as a desire in our conscious minds.
MEDITATE ON THAT!
...and you have GOT to watch this! It makes me want to run to the top of a mountain and shout for joy!

Thanks Quincy!
WE ARE CREATORS - BUT WE CANNOT CREATE IN THE PAST OR IN THE FUTURE. CREATION HAPPENS NOW - "MEDITATE AND CREATE" Angel Naivalu

WHAT IS MEDITATION?

2009-02-17T21:07:00.001-08:00

I learned something cool today: meditation is being in the present.

Why is that so amazing? Because it is SO RARE! For a while I've thought about how most (if not all) of human emotional problems/issues, whatever you want to call them, originate out of people living (or dwelling momentarily) in the past or fearing the future. Harboring feelings from the past of pain, trauma, loneliness, rejection, judgment, resentment, jealousy, loss, .....whatever it is... this occupies our minds. Our thoughts dictate our emotions. Going deeper, to the unconscious mind, our beliefs dictate our thoughts.
Other people have fears and phobias. These can relate to incidents from the past - past incidents may have formulated very strong beliefs and so we project them into the future with fear. Anxiety, worry, anticipation, "what ifs"..... concern about the future cause us more trouble.
Being in the present = meditation. The unconscious mind does not know the difference between past and future - everything is present. So when we are literally totally focused on the moment, we are open to the power of our unconscious mind.
Don't get what I'm talking about? Pick a time, whether you're alone, with kids, spouse, anyone, and try to be present - meaning, focus on every one of your 5 senses and what you're experiencing in that moment. See how hard it is to keep your conscious mind on track.
Coolest exercise I discovered - take a bath. Slip down into the water til your ears are under water. This will bring you right into the present as you can hear your own breathing AND your heartbeat. Focus on that. See how long you can stay focused on that.
I now realize that we don't live in the present very often or easily - and we therefore miss a lot of inspiration that comes in the present - not in the past or future - but in the present.
This is BIG for me - just try it. See what happens with your kids or your spouse when you are with them and TOTALLY PRESENT. Amazing.
(Thanks Kami Mitchell!)

Mentoring Moments

2009-02-13T21:13:00.000-08:00

Leadership Education (an educational philosophy AND a book title) have done more for me as a parent than any other single source. It has revolutionized how I view education for myself and my children, enhanced the role I take on in my children's education, and it has significantly raised my expectations of human potential in general.

One principle from this philosophy is known as "mentoring." "Mentors, not professors," is based on the principle that a mentor is an individual with an area of expertise or knowledge who is committed to conveying her/his knowledge through inspiring teaching methods, such as:

starting where the student is,
pacing with the student's interest and understanding, and
promoting exceptional growth by challenging the student in ways that push him/her right up to the edge of comfort and ability.

In contrast, a typical professor/student relationship is more hierarchical in nature where the professor is elevated by his/her expertise and is invested in providing lectures and the student's job is to absorb whatever the professor teaches.

Also, the mentor relationship is generally one on one.

Mentors are first, parents, and then anyone who assumes or is assigned that role.

I have been astounded by this one concept alone. The power and potential in it is phenomenal. I have had loads of professors in my life, K-12, associates program, bachelor's program and masters program, and really only 2-3 "mentors" among all of them. It was those mentors, however, who shaped my self-esteem, character, knowledge and skills, and passions more than all of the other teachers combined. The point: it doesn't take a lot of teachers to educate a child.

As I've read examples of mentoring relationships, I realized that as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we have access to amazing people right within our own little congregations. There is a potential mentor for nearly any general subject one could conceive of, and with a little searching, maybe to a stake level or beyond, likely a mentor on any specialty subject as well.

This introduction is all to explain what happened today. Sikeli (5) has been fascinated with the Prophet Joseph Smith for a while now. He loves to be read the Friend magazine clips on stories from the prophet's life. He dresses up like Joseph and loves to ask questions about him. I decided to provide him with his first, "official" mentoring session outside of our family setting. In our ward, living just around the corner about 3 houses away, is Gracia Jones. She is a Deseret Book author (a few of her books shown above) and the great-great granddaughter of Joseph and Emma Smith. She is also the first baptized descendant of the prophet. A potential mentor? Could it get any better than that?

I sat by her Thursday at a Relief Society function and just asked her if she'd have 3o minutes when Sikeli could come to her house and ask questions about the prophet. She said Friday would be great. When I told Sikeli on Friday morning, what he was going to get to do, he immediately dressed in his "Joseph clothes," and was ready to head out the door. I dropped him off with Sister Jones and when I returned, he had lots of stories to tell me. He had held some household items that had belonged to Emma and held and felt a replica of a death mask of the prophet.

Do you think this is at least as effective as an FHE or primary lesson on the Prophet Joseph Smith? Like I said, this one principle, mentoring, has opened my eyes to unlimited possibilities in my children's education. I have to take the lead, I have to search them out and set them up, I have to expose my children, but then, I just sit back and watch.

GET THE BOOK! Leadership Education - by Oliver DeMille

Naivalu parenting motto: We are NOT raising children, we're raising leaders.

What's Guiding YOUR Life Right Now?

2009-02-09T11:54:00.000-08:00

(Not his real hair!)
Maika - 19 months Aisea 3 1/2 Sikeli 5
Above and beyond all else - these 3 guide my life!!!

I love learning from other people!!! I love it when friends share what they're learning and doing. So often, their examples lead me to find new passions in my own life.

I had the most amazing weekend! I travelled to northern Utah, BY MYSELF!!! (Can you believe it?) I was able to visit some friends and help my cousin at a bridal show. I loved visiting old friends and I realized that email, phone and blogging does not cut it in terms of maintaining relationships. So much more happens with face to face conversation.

The themes in my life seemed to repeat themselves at each home, as I shared what interests me these days. In light of this experience, I thought I 'd make a list of "My Favorite Things" that have greatly impacted my learning:

1. The book entitled, "The Answer" by John Assaraf and Murray Smith The title can be misleading as it includes something about "how to grow any business" - do not be deceived! The information pertains to every day life. It shares a lot about neuroscience and the latest understandings of the conscious and unconscious minds, how to identify irrational beliefs and how to re-write them. It is life changing.

2. Book - "Leadership Education" by Oliver DeMille. This can be ordered through the George Wythe University bookstore - http://www.gw.edu/. This is the educational paradigm we use in our family. Whether you're homeschooling or public schooling, this amazing book can show you a new way to think about education and can be implemented into your family culture as you see fit. You do not have to homeschool to be greatly blessed by this book. I Love it!

3. Book "Out of Our Minds" By Sir Ken Robinson - a researched backed look at educational & social paradigms and their exclusion of creativity as a standard part of curriculum and as a valued aspect of civilization, respectively. The irony presented is that what is needed now, more than ever, in the workplace, in leadership, etc. is.....CREATIVITY. We are moving into a new era - a shift equal to that which took place in the past as we merged from an agricultural civilization into an industrial one, then from industrial into technology, we are now in a new shift. Old ways of thinking will not work in the current, global market. Great book.

These are my "food for thought" nuggets.

4. As for my physical body, We are still way into cleansing and love the products from Isagenix. We see the benefits in our own family and extended family and friends. We also support the mission of the company.http://www.wellness.within.isagenix.com/

5. Spiritually - Loving the November '08 Ensign. It's so interesting how much of it fits into and lends support, or clarifies, rather, to the other things I've been reading. Also the Strengthening Marriage course manual produced by the church and LDS Family Services.

6. Homebirth - a little manual called "Powerbirth" that also comes with a DVD - the single best education on homebirth. This is so simple and obviously natural to understand and to implement. Recommended for anyone who is curious about homebirths. Also, the DVD "The Business of Being Born" It's a must. If you are for or anti homebirth, this is an education - very provacative for one's thinking.

This is where I'm at right now and what's guiding my life.

Please share with me what is guiding YOUR life right now and what your "favorite things" are.

I'm on a ROLL!

2009-01-22T21:43:00.001-08:00

Another book! I'm working on this one right now, bit by bit. I attended a retreat this past weekend where this book was heavily referenced. I love the scientific information about brain function. It is addressed towards building a business, but quite readily gives examples in personal and relationship areas as well.
The biggest "ah-hahs" for me so far are:
1. There is no empty space anywhere. Beyond molecules, atoms, then protons/neurons, the smallest discovered elements of the universe are called "energy." Beyond that, "information," which I interpret as "intelligence." Where have I heard that before?
2. Everything, and everyone, is connected by energy - in grad school we learned of Carl Jung's "collective unconscious," and it seems well explained here.
3. A summary of my reading to this point, in my own words, "Our lives are our thoughts materialized."
Mosiah 4:30 has profoundly new meaning.
"But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not. "
WATCH OUR THOUGHTS. How do we do that? Just observe everything that exists in our close proximity, physically, psychologically, emotionally, socially, spiritually, financially....It's all an illustration/depiction of (created by) our thoughts. Hmmm.

Party Planning Insights

2009-01-03T00:03:00.000-08:00

It just happened. I noticed. And I am grateful.

I have been preparing for my son's birthday party. His interest in Knights led easily into a party theme. Without premeditation, the actual party planning and preparation taught me an important lesson: children, character, memories and love are more important than the outcome.

It seems an obvious lesson, but here's what happened. I came up with ideas for decorations, games, food, costumes, etc. Then when it came time to construct and paint the cardboard castle, I decided to invite my boys to help paint. However, I had one moment of, "If they help, it will be so messy, take longer, be more difficult...." and then I heard my own thoughts. "What am I thinking!?! Of course they need to help paint it!"
Luckily, my dad and brother took over the "design and construction" portion, and, without volunteering, supervised the painting too. I was putting crowns together and watching out the window as my boys giggled, shouted and squealed over the experience. Watching their joy as cardboard was transformed before their eyes into a knight's castle was one of the greatest moments of my life. All at once, I saw the layers of meaning: participation, work, teamwork, contribution toward a final project, intergenerational mentoring, stewardship, memories, responsibility, capability, creativity, .... and of course, plain, old, messy, fun.

They made something that will last beyond the hours of the party. It will be their castle. I hear them say it's "SO AWESOME!"

I thought about how easy it is, as the mother, to plan, prepare and DO everything. I thought about being able to BUY everything for a "fun themed party." And then I compared it with what took place: "What's the point?" I thought. "Of a fancy, decorated, theme party of which the kids had no part in preparing? What's cool about that?"

I was taught by a mentor greater than myself, in this situation, that "doing it the right way" is not about how the end result will look to myself or anyone else, but how it is perceived by the child(ren).

"Grandpa" Wells has taught that great parenting, and the development of good character, do not occur in the grandiose events of childhood. Rather, they develop over "a thousand small moments of parenting." This was one of those moments that will surely leave a tatoo on their souls.

PRAY ALWAYS - Elder Bednar

2008-12-30T06:06:00.000-08:00

I am finally doing something I've considered doing for years: Reading the General Conference issue of the Ensign magazine (of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), article by article and studying each message and trying to apply it to my life.
I can't get over it. How could that much "gold" be dropped in my lap every 6 months??? It's one thing to hear it, but quite another to read it (okay, Nic, reading books may bring a different power than listening to audiobooks).
On pg 41, Elder Bednar talks about prayer. His 1st principle is that, "Prayer becomes more meaningful as we counsel with the Lord in ALL our doings."
"How do I apply this?" I thought. The idea came that by writing down "all my doings," all that I want/need to get done, and taking them, one by one, to the Lord. It reminds me of how Sai helps me when I'm feeling stressed. He'll say, "List the things that are bothering you, or that you have to get done." When I list them, it's generally about 5 things and right off, that doesn't seem as overwhelming as it had when they were all meshed together in my head.
Next he'll take on the things he can do to help - pointing out that I don't have to do everything.
Then, he helps me break down the other things into manageable "bites" to accomplish them with ease.
I realized that Sai has patterned for me exactly what the Lord can do, too, if I were to counsel with Him in ALL of my doings.
Another insight came from our "Grandpa" (Gawain) Wells (BYU Professor of psychology, author, etc.) He once stated that when he's working on writing (for publication, for a talk, etc.) That he starts with a prayer, asking the Lord to help him write truth and the things the Lord would have him say. Then, in an act of TRUE FAITH, he writes - and he trusts that what comes out on paper is being assisted from the Lord.
I've thought about how I may ask the Lord for help with something like that, and then I go forth with anxiety and doubt and work and re-work something according to my own will and mind.
What if I followed Elder Bednar's counsel and took each concern to the Lord, prayed with real faith, and then just followed the inspiration that came, without second guessing it? Well, we'll see what comes of it. I've made my list and there are currently 7 items on it (I must be more stressed than I thought:)

Knowledge = Salvation

2008-12-22T23:25:00.000-08:00

Joseph Smith on Knowledge

Many people are buzzing about the "law of attraction." I had the opportunity to substitute in Relief Society 2 Sundays ago and teach the lesson (chp 22 from the Joseph Smith manual) on Gaining Knowledge of Eternal Truths. It was so fun for me because the topic is one I'm passionate about - being a converted "reader." I marvel at how gaining knowledge brings joy. It spawns hope, motivation, desire, enthusiasm, ambition, etc., etc.

As part of that preparation, I found this scripture, and I thought, "This is what so many in the world are calling the "law of attraction."
D&C 88: 40

40 For ^aintelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; ^bwisdom receiveth wisdom; ^ctruth embraceth truth; ^dvirtue loveth virtue; ^elight cleaveth unto light; ^fmercy hath ^gcompassion on mercy and claimeth her own; ^hjustice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things.

In my mind, this says we attract, or connect with, what we are. What is great is that if we can see where we're at in terms of knowledge or progression, or "light," then we can seek out others who have more light. We can consciously make an effort to be near them, associate with them, learn from them, "cleave" unto them. For example, simple stories about Apostles' lives and their family relationships provide streams of insight into how a disciple's life really looks - the mechanics of it. Seeing this has helped me desire to modify various things in my life, from my vocabulary, to my choice of entertainment, for example. As I've tried to become more like the people that I admire who have intelligence, wisdom, truth, virtue, light, etc., I've truly seen this scripture in action. It naturally breeds new relationships, new circles of friends, new thoughts, goals, new levels of conversation, etc.

What I want for myself, and for other women (I'm passionate about "women's issues") is joy and peace - because I see the opposite occurring more and more often. I want to share some points from the Joseph Smith lesson that excited me. I believe they are keys to joy and peace:

D&C 93:36-43

36 The ^aglory of God is ^bintelligence, or, in other words, ^clight and truth.

37 Light and truth forsake that ^aevil one.

38 Every ^aspirit of man was ^binnocent in the beginning; and God having ^credeemed man from the ^dfall, men became again, in their infant state, ^einnocent before God.

39 And that ^awicked one cometh and ^btaketh away light and truth, through ^cdisobedience, from the children of men, and because of the ^dtradition of their fathers.

40 But I have commanded you to bring up your ^achildren in ^blight and truth.

41 But verily I say unto you, my servant Frederick G. Williams, (OR ANY OF US) you have continued under this condemnation;

42 You have not ^ataught your children light and truth, according to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power, as yet, over you, and this is the cause of your ^baffliction.

43 And now a commandment I give unto you—if you will be delivered you shall set in ^aorder your own house, for there are many things that are not right in your house.

I love that last line - how much time is wasted criticizing others, or justifying ourselves b/c we're somehow "doing better" than someone else. Here's the council to set our own house in order. Are we teaching truth and light to our children? We cannot GIVE what we don't HAVE. How much truth and light do we seek after, obtain and radiate? If we don't have it, what are we giving our children?
(the following are excerpts from my lesson)

"I have noted, over time, perhaps some of you have too, in various church settings, a commonly held belief among us as LDS women. It is the idea that it is not our role, our responsibility, or perhaps our capability to be “scriptorians.” Many times, I’ve heard a woman begin a statement by saying, “I’m no scriptorian, but…” And I ask myself, “Why not?” Where or when did some of us learn this verse: (Sung to the tune of “As Sisters in Zion”)

'As sisters in Zion we’re not held accountable, for doctrines of truth taught in scriptural books. If we but keep busy we’ll seem like we’re righteous, we’ll go through the motions in words and in looks.'

I feel the underlying belief comes, not from any gospel source, rather from a cultural and societal norm that teaches that women are not intellectuals and are not capable of comprehending complex thought. The gospel teaches otherwise:

D&C 42:61 If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive ^arevelation upon revelation, ^bknowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the ^cmysteries and ^dpeaceable things—that which bringeth ^ejoy, that which bringeth life eternal.

Last paragraph 263 Quote from JS. “Great joy and satisfaction continually beamed in the countenances of the School of the Prophets, and the Saints, on account of the things revealed, and our progress in the knowledge of God.”

Joy and satisfaction come from learning truths – a remedy for discouragement and despair.

Under new heading on page 265– “Knowledge is necessary to life and godliness.” Woe unto those…”knowledge is the power of God unto salvation.”

“Knowledge does away with darkness, suspense and doubt; for these cannot exist where knowledge is.”

Page 266 “Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. (The converse, then, is true also: whatever ignorance we maintain, will also rise with us.) And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.”

I’d like to challenge one other assumption common among some LDS women, that the priesthood brethren automatically know the gospel better than others, b/c of their calling or authority, or perhaps they served a full time mission. I believe this is an illusion, and a copout. I speak as a woman AND as a returned missionary and I’ll tell you that it is NOT whether or not someone has served a mission, a person’s scriptural/gospel knowledge is a direct reflection of his/her individual effort to learn it. “And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience…” That opportunity to KNOW is open, and commanded, for all of us.

Have you ever noticed when the Prophet, Apostles and other leaders speak, they often quote or refer to writings from great classics – be it classics in music, theater or literature? Have you heard them recommend that we study from ALL good books? Do they often quote from CNN? Reality TV, or American Idol? Where do they spend their time? If we want to be as they are, we must follow in their footsteps.

Page 268 last paragraph – “God hath not revealed anything to Joseph, but what He will make known unto the Twelve, and even the least Saint may know all things as fast as he is able to bear them, for the day must come when no man need say to his neighbor, Know ye the Lord; for all shall know Him…from the least to the greatest.”

NO excuses – these blessings and promises are not reserved for the elite only – “even the least Saint may know all things…”

I bear you my testimony that these things ARE true! As women, and daughters of God, we ARE intellectuals. We ARE capable of comprehending complex thought. Light and knowledge will be given to any who seeks it, honestly, with a commitment to act upon the knowledge given - which may require us to change the way we think, speak, and relate to others.

Cloth Diaper Update

2008-12-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

Nighttime cover
Daytime diaper

These are the cloth diapers we've been using for about 2 months now - and I love it. (from www.comfybummy.com) Mostly I love walking PAST the diapers at Costco and thinking that's a thing of the past! The first few days it was a little overwhelming - but then I learned some strategies and techniques and now, it's just the way we do things.
Tips:
1. Our laundry room/bathroom has a shower with a detachable spray nozzle. Brilliant! For Maika's messy diapers, I just change him in the bathroom and use the shower to spray him clean. Then I quickly swish the diaper in the potty (No, I don't stick my hand in the dirty water, or need gloves. I just hold one end of the diaper and swish it in the water.) Then I drop it in the dry, diaper bucket.
2. I take two plastic bags with me in the diaper bag in case of stinky diapers while out. I just tie them up and take care of them at home. My life is flexible enough that I can wait til after the a.m. BM's before we take off for our adventures for the day.
3. I use cloth wipes, too. I have large, plastic canisters that I put purified water in (just out of the fridge dispenser) and mix with 2 tbsp of olive oil and 2 tbsp of antibacterial handsoap. I swish that all together then stuff the canister full of cloth rags that are from t-shirts of Sai's I cut up. The dirty wipes just go in the diaper bucket.
4. I have leftover disposable diapers and commercial wipes for certain people and times (babysitters - don't want to freak them out!)
5. Laundering - This took some learning - now it's easy!
1st batch is with COLD water on a high water level. Use just 1/4 of a scoop of detergent. Then the best, natural cleaner is a BIOKLEEN brand (found at health food store and recommended by diaper company). Just add 2 tbsp. Once water is full and has swished, I let them soak about 1/2 hour then continue cycle.
2nd Cycle - turn on hot water wash and add 1/4-1/2 cup of Baking Soda. This cleans and deoderizes. Now they come out stain free and smelling nice.
I couldn't find the plain Biokleen detergent, so I use Biokleen Oxygen Plus bleach with my cold cycle wash. What I've learned is that most detergents, esp liquid ones, lock in grime and stink b/c they're so heavy and chemical. Biokleen and Baking Soda are great at stripping things clean of all that build up. White vinegar will also help remove detergent build up and clothes don't smell like vinegar. I also use the Biokleen in concentrate in a spray bottle. For messy ones, I just squirt some of the concentrate on the stain before dropping it in the bucket.

Just wanted to share - it's not hard. I'm so glad I switched now. I feel better about the environmental impact.

This is a random addition -
I was reading the Presidential Report from BYU-Hawaii last week and just came across page 13 and found a picture with my boys, Aisea (in front) and Sikeli (last) riding on a Fijian raft at the PCC. That was taken over a year ago. Oh, how we miss that place!!!

All I Want For Christmas... HEALTHY KIDS!!!

2008-12-17T17:56:00.000-08:00

Beginning on Oct. 21st when we returned from our family trip to DC, my three boys and I got a most annoying cough and congestion/runny nose. I could feel it coming on during the plane ride home - how I wish they had high grade air purifiers on those things that would kill bacteria in the air. I started to get all paranoid about all the germs - the dead skin cells on the seats, the germs on the tray tables, and wondering how many other kids had licked that window before Aisea! I couldn't wait to get out of there!

Anyway - I have done away with cough syrups for kids b/c a) they don't work and b) they don't work. (There's research that supports this, primarily for kids 3 and under). So I began loading us down daily - echinacea, fenugreek, thyme, chewable vitamins, liquid, no dairy products, no OJ (b/c it does produce mucus - like dairy does - and thus provides a host for goobers. Info provided by naturopaths). My mom asked me one morning, as I prepared our daily doses before breakfast, if I needed a pharmaceutical license to do what I was doing.

Well, it dragged on and on, literally until the end of last week! (From October!) I FINALLY did follow through with tips from a woman I met named Jaleeta. She has raised 9 children to adulthood and said only 2 ever had antibiotics. Her husband is an herbalist. She had recommended that I use tea tree oil. I was too busy trying everything else and just when I was about to crack and go to the medical clinic - it was closed. (What a blessing!) Then I remembered Jaleeta's suggestion and went to the health food store and found a small bottle of 100% pure tea tree oil. I knew it needed a carrier oil and asked an employee about putting it with Vicks Vapor Rub. She was okay with that - so off I went.
Well, I'm just here to say that Vicks and Tea Tree Oil are my new best friends. In 2 days, I was so much better and my kids too! Here are the tricks -
First, I had learned a while back that a great nighttime cough remedy is to rub vicks into your (or your kids') feet and put socks on to sleep. If you think this sounds quirky, then you just don't know that the feet are anchored to the whole body and have a great power to absorb and it has worked time and time again for us in lieu of cough syrup. I use it on myself and know for myself that just shortly after applying it, I can sleep w/out coughing.
So this time I did the feet thing, with Vicks and then a drop or two of tea tree oil too, rubbing it all in the feet and then some across the chest.
MIRACLES!
Here's to you, Vicks and Tea Tree Oil - It looks like I'll get my Christmas wish!

Thoughts on Reading from My Mission Comp

2008-12-09T22:20:00.000-08:00

Under my "Non-Reader Conversion Story" entry, I mentioned my mission comp. I failed to mention that I love her guts! She sent me this comment in an email and I like it so much, I want to share it. She has been an inspiration to me when it comes to reading great works. (Even if she doesn't think that audio books are considered "reading"). She knows so much about history and literature, it blows me away. And I just had an "ah-hah" (Oprah would be so proud) that her love of great literature and poignant, touching human relationships portrayed in that great literature, is why she is the most kind person I know. She used to rub the heads of strange kids as we passed them on the streets of Spain. I, on the other hand, was afraid of getting lice or something worse - you never know where these kids have been! Her journal entries about our days as missionaries were also filled with clever, witty, moving and tangible descriptions of the people we met and places we went, while mine were much, much more focused on sarcasm - which was my antidote for serving in Spain. Here's what she had to say:
"Whenever people say they don't like to read or they are not good at it, I think, "They just haven't found the right kind of books." People will read what interests them whether it's the sports page or Tacitus. Reading is so important, and more so with children. Children first learn by watching their parents. When children see parents reading, they become interested in reading. I wasn't that interested in reading when I was a kid. I watched my older sister reading and thought, "There must be something to this stuff because she does it for hours." When I finished my first book, Nancy Drew and the Mystery of the Crooked Chimney, I was so proud of myself I went into the kitchen and told my whole family. Ever since then I have cried over too many books to count. I have laughed outloud over Aristophanes. I threw Dostoyevsky across the room. While reading Pride and Prejudice I shouted, "He loves her! Darcy really loves her!" And while I can't remember the plot of any TV shows I watched in tenth grade, I sure remember crying my eyes out at midnight finishing Of Mice and Men. That's something you want to give your children. Whenever I am faced with how little common sense I seem to have, I think to myself, "I may not know a whole lot about the practical things of life, but I know heaps of beautiful things that make life worth living." And alot of those things I learned from books."
By our "Aunt Nit" (as my kids call her - her name is Nic, short for Niccole).

Marriage Insight from Gottman

2008-12-07T22:21:00.000-08:00

I am preparing for a new calling starting in January, to teach the church's Marriage and Family relationship class - it's a new course curriculum produced by LDS Family Services. That is what led me to review some secular marital material. (Have no fear, I went with info. from an author who is quoted in the church's instructor's manual.)

"The Relationship Cure" by the foremost renowned researcher on marriage and family relationships, John Gottman, has provided me with a simple, yet powerful concept I want to share.

In studying marriages, Gottman and team has found evidence that suggests that success or failure of a relationship directly relates to the "emotional connectedness" of the couple. Being connected does not happen in grandiose ways, during special events, or with fanfare, it happens up to 100 times per hour in situations such as dinner around the table.

Gottman has identified what he calls "bids" for emotional connection. Bids are a spouse's plea or request for connection. The "bids" can range from being overt to covert, such as, "I want to go to bed with you," or, "How was your day?" The level of emotional connection is a result of how these "bids" are received. They happen frequently when couples are interacting and happily married couples have patterns of receiving and responding to each other's "bids" in a positive manner.

Gottman says that there are 3 types of responses to "bids." They are: #1 - Turing towards, #2 Turning Away, or #3 Turning against.

When a bid - or request for attention/connection - is offered, the other spouse does one of the aforementioned 3 things. Turning toward the "bidder" means that the other spouse acknowledges the bid and interacts with the bidder, connects, & engages in communication in some way. This acknowledgement of a "bid" allows the "bidder" to feel heard, validated, loved, .... connected emotionally. Turning away is when the spouse ignores the bid, completely disconnected from the "bidder's" invitation for closeness. Turning against is when the spouse responds abruptly, annoyed, critically, antagonistically, etc. to the other's "bid." As you can imagine, couples that have this third pattern and those that commonly end in divorce.

This new understanding came at a great time for me. It gives words and even an avenue to obtaining what I've been after - a deeper friendship with my spouse. As newlyweds at Wymount (married student housing at BYU) we used to chuckle at the frequent counsel from our leaders to have a date night every week. They always said how important it was to continue courting after marriage. For us, at that point, every day was "date night." We were both in school, we had no TV, we had home cooked meals 3 times a day (not from a box) and we talked and exchanged ideas ALL THE TIME. We also attended the temple every week. Life was pretty much perfect! (If only we'd realized it then!!!) So it was impossible to imagine that our friendship would ever shift.

Joke's on us!

Three (nearly 4) children later - we look more like a tag team parenting troupe or referees at a WWF World Championship, jumping in and out of the "organized chaos" (that we call our family), than 2 best friends. We're still committed to our covenants, we still have the same foundation for our relationship, but we do not always do well with Gottman's "bidding." That will all change now that we get it, however. It already has.

Just wanted to share this. I'm amazed at what can be learned through the library - who would have guessed? (I know, I know, all you readers out there have known it all along!) And the best thing - it's free! I hope to have a home library someday, but I've decided that moving every few months, especially across the ocean at times, is not conducive to shipping loads of books, and that having a "home library" might work well if we have a "home" first.

"Non-Reader" Conversion Story

2008-12-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

A mission companion once told me that listening to a book on tape/CD does not count as having "read" the book. I beg to differ - being very high on the auditory learner end of the spectrum. I tend to think I can absorb the same amount of knowledge as one who "read" the book with her eyes. After much debate (what else is there to do at night in your mission apartment???) we still differed on this subject - so when President Hinckley asked all members to "Read the Book of Mormon," I wondered what HE would think of those of us who listened to it????

Over three years ago, I came in contact with an educational paradigm - Thomas Jefferson Education - and it drastically changed my life.

I was invited to a youth camp (Youth For America, held annually) to observe. I arrived just before the adolescents did, and found a seat in the welcome room. I watched as each of them arrived at their camp orientation. Youth came from various states and Canada, some meeting each other for the first time, others were return participants. I marveled at their maturity in interacting one with another - introducing themselves, being assertive, seemingly quite secure, not the "typical" teenage scene (generally highly regarded as a time of insecurity). As the youth were seated and the orientation began, the speaker asked, "Who knows who Montesque is?" I was lost - the first question of the day, and I was lost! I was thinking, "Wait, Montegue (?) is Romeo and Juliet - not that I 've ever read it, or seen it, but I think that's the name. But that's not what this guy said???"

There was a low mumbling of answers, like in Sunday school when the teacher asks something as common as, "How can we communicate with Heavenly Father?" I heard the boy next to me say, "We know, he wrote the Spirit of the Laws."

"Okay, wait - What planet are these people from?" I thought. This was in 2005 - I had not just crawled out of a hole, or so I thought. I'd graduated from college, and graduate school - I thought I had earned an education. I had been married 3 years, I just had my 2nd child, but I had NO IDEA what these "teens" were discussing - and it went downhill from there.

What they were discussing, I later discovered, was a great philospher whose ideas were well known by our country's founding fathers and upon which a great degree of our country's constitution is founded.

But at the time, I had NO IDEA. What I did have in that moment, was, in psychological terms, an "existential crisis." That is what happens when everything you are, everything you know to be true, is suddenly challenged, or seemingly shattered in an instant, and you're left to figure out up from down, truth from error, and where you fit in all of the broken pieces.

My "shattering" was this: All my life I thought that "getting an education" meant going to school. And that going to college (and doing well) and then graduate school, was considered a "good education" especially for a girl my age. As I sat with these youth, however, who, throughout the day discussed subjects way over my head and articulated their "missions in life" and how they were making a "difference in the world," I began to shrink, wondering, "What did I learn in the past 18 years of school???" I felt like a preschooler among scholars.

I had a do or die moment. I could either choose to crawl into a hole and die of shame, or, enroll in a fresh pursuit of obtaining an "education."

Thus, in 2005 I entered the "preschool" of Thomas Jefferson Education (which is the modality from which these particular youth had emerged).

The first incorrect assumption I had to rid myself of was the long held belief that I could learn without reading. Having acquired that belief in elementary school, and having proven throughout ALL of my schooling years that I could "succeed" (meaning get top grades in classes I chose to succeed in) without cracking a book or dusting my feet at a library door, I had to buckle down and start at the beginning. A real education, I came to believe, comes from the study of classics - in every subject - classics can only be studied by reading them (or, listening to them, perhaps :) They cannot be transmitted through textbook summaries. I swallowed my pride and officially (I did announce it to the world) converted from a proud, "non-reader" to a "reader."

My first book was Les Miserables - the unabridged version. Loved it! It has taken me years, but I'm still trying, daily, to make myself create the time and space to read.

All of this history, was simply to announce that I had a great day today. The cosmos must have been aligned because I had time to leisurely read and I looked at the stack of books that I'm currently purusing, and I wanted to share my current picks:

Power Birth (Lydi Ronka Owen) - absolutely life changing - the BEST birthing book ever - short, simple, empowering.

The Infinite Power of Hope - Elder Uchtdorf's Oct. conference message. Holy Moly - I have to take it a word at a time b/c he's so darn right on!

What Your first Grader Needs to Know (E.D. Hirsch Jr.) - an educational alternative to "typical" curriculum

Strengthening Marriage - LDS Family Services - a new manual for the church's marriage and family class.

The Relationship Cure - John M. Gottman

and Out of our Minds: Learning to be Creative (Ken Robinson - who I posted earlier on a youtube link).

My goal in this coming week is to share the "ah-hahs" from these picks. I'm just so proud of myself for being a "reader." It's like I've joined a new club or passed some kind of milestone in life, a "coming of age" experience, like getting your first bra. It's like now I'm "one of the girls."

My next problem is finding people to discuss these things with - I'm still an auditory learner, but I guess I read kind of quirky stuff, b/c there's not a whole lot of book clubs out there touting these titles.

However, because I am anti-mass hystery as well, I don't think I'll ever find the right book club for me. I refused to see the movie Titanic (haven't to this day) b/c of the craze. It was so peculiar to be "out of the loop" and observe the hysteria as my girlfriends would talk about it and dreamingly pant over Leonardo. Thus, I also refuse to read Twilight (Can I even spell it?).

Just give me some Gottman and leave me alone. Real life is so much more dramatic than fiction - why go anywhere else?

Ignorance is Bliss...But Knowledge is Joy

2008-11-25T19:21:00.000-08:00

I have noticed a pattern in my life: ignorance. Being raised in a culturally encapsulated environment (translation - homogenous group; pretty much white and LDS for starters), in an uneducated, unexposed family environment, I developed the ability (or limitation, rather), to make assumptions and form opinions based on my imaginative perceptions rather than on information or truth. Over the years, through travel, mission, college, work, and living with people from many parts of the world, I have been gratefully blessed with having this ignorance challenged. Over time, I grew to not fear the word "ignorance," nor to be ashamed to admit that, "I am ignorant," because it is not tied to my worth, it's merely a state of having knowledge or a lack of it.

Just the other day, I realized I have had yet another revelation of my former ignorance. The pattern I'm seeing is this: When a subject arises, of which I am ignorant yet have strong assumptions regarding it, I now seek more information from several valid and reliable sources in order to validate, or adapt if necessary, my position. The result has been that as I gain more credible information, I have the tendency to adopt a position on that subject that is outside of the mainstream's value base, or a more "radical" stance than the bulk of society. Not ever being one to feel insecure with peer pressure, this "outsider" position hasn't tortured me, nor tempted me to resist my movement towards a less popular alliance, when my move is based on my values and beliefs. Simply - I am okay with letting others have their beliefs even when mine are different and still being great friends.

What I have noticed is that perhaps this ignorance is a greater part of society at large than simply a reflection of a small town, LDS community and individual family.

There seems to be a tradition of ignorance in our modern American history. There's a broad difference in the education and thoughts of our founding fathers and mothers and the average level of education of an American today.

I digress.

What has brought me to reconsider that perhaps I am not the only ignorant person is being confronted by the uneducated, uninformed oppositions toward some of the choices I am making in my life: homeschooling my children and homebirth. (Just to pick 2).

I do not mean this in a condeming way. The oppositions simply remind ME of the uninformed beliefs I ONCE HELD on the same topics and the persecutions (whether they were verbal or kept to myself) I heaped upon others who have made the choices that I am now making.

I reflect in horror at how determined I WAS that somehow I knew, or knew better, than someone else who was in fact making an educated choice where I was not exercising ANY choice, simply following the popular crowd.

As I thought about these experiences recently, the phrase, "Ignorance is bliss" came to mind and I have challenged it for myself that if it is bliss, than "Knowledge is Joy," because pulling away from the mainstream and living my life in an assertive, empowering, personalized way has been liberating.

I'll get more specific next time.

P.S. Don't be offended - this is my blog - my thoughts - my opinions - it's NOT a reflection of anyone else's worth.

Washington DC trip photos....finally

2008-11-17T22:35:00.000-08:00

Dad and Maika at Jefferson's home - Monticello (you can't see the home, but it's a cute pic.)

Little George (Sikeli) at Mt. Vernon, George Washington's plantation. Visiting this spot was Sikeli's goal of the ENTIRE trip. As we walked down the lane, he took my hand and told me this was the best day of his life. At that moment, it was mine, too.

Did we forget Maika? No, he was sleeping in the stroller - but Maika - we DID take you to the White House.

The Capitol. Exciting?

Jefferson's Home - Monticello - another highlight. Jefferson is my hero. What unbelievable genius contributed to the founding of our nation.

Stonewall Jackson's House. (Sikeli demonstrating his position as a Yankee. He made Aisea carry the confederate flag).

Washington and Lee University.

The Air and Space Museum - Smithsonian Institute

Safari Park - feeding animals right from our car!

Washington DC temple.

It's nice to finally get our trip photos uploaded and have a look at them. What great memories.

Halloween

2008-11-05T14:43:00.001-08:00

Halloween eating...

Dorothy sneaking a kiss from Lion.

Last Winter we saw the play, The Wizard of Oz. We've been crazy fans ever since.

Using this love as our Halloween theme was a great way for me to participate and enjoy a holiday that I otherwise do not appreciate.

My sister was Glinda, the "Good Witch" and Sai - well, I guess he's "too cool" to dress up. He didn't think the "Great and Powerful Oz" needed any costume.

Where in the world are we?

2008-11-03T21:25:00.001-08:00

This is just for the sake of updating, b/c I can't stand to think of my blog - it's like it's in a coma.

This is why:

We came to St. George, Utah, from Aspen the end of September. I started the marathon on Oct. 4th and did 10 miles in the cold, rain. It DOES NOT rain in St. George - just that ONE day in all the days before and since that we've been here! Being 3 months pregnant at that time, I decided the weather was just too much of a stressor and did not want to risk getting pneumonia. I gratefully took the shuttle into town and look forward to next year's marathon.

We took our first ever "learning vacation." (Term coined by Sikeli). Frankly, it was our first vacation that wasn't just a trip home for me from Hawaii or Colorado. We spent 10 days in the Washington DC/Virginia area. For the past year, my boys have been enthralled with US presidents, US wars, slavery, the Constitution and Declaration, etc. Let's just say colonial history up to the Civil War. We kept saying, "When we have the money we'll take them back east to see all these sights they love reading about." I finally realized that my intention with that statement was continually attracting a lack of money. So we set the intention that we WERE going in October and set the dates and did everything AS IF it would happen - and it did. There was a huge miracle that came just 2 weeks before the trip that was totally unpredictable and made the whole thing completely possible.

Setting intentions (i.e. Faith - view previous post if confused) is real. You know those "dream boards" or "vision boards?" They work. This was on our dream board.

So, imagine 10 days with endless questions from my curious children - far too many that I could not answer, such as, "Mom, what countries fought in the Korean war and what were their strategies?" This was my sheepish response, "I don't know, son. Just look at the memorial. We'll get a book on it when we get home."

Really, I tried to do better at other times, this was on the last day and my brain was FRIED!

Some of the highlights -

Thomas Jefferson's home

George Washington's home

Stonewall Jackson's home

White House,.....and all in that neighborhood.

Awesome Smithsonian Institutes

And a safari zoo where you drive your car into a free range zoo, open your van door and feed the animals out of buckets as they come up to, and STICK THEIR HEADS INTO, your van. For real - camels are stinky and scary when they're nose to nose with your child!

So - have been wanting to blog - but guess what? We moved everything from Aspen to St. George (long story) but I can't find the camera cord to download photos.

Sai returned to Aspen last week to work - better job opps than in St. George. He visits on the weekends.

I'm now 21 weeks pregnant - expecting to have a boy - no official info on that yet, however. Planning a homebirth and have a great midwife. "Why didn't I do this before?" is my only question. It's just so much more normal to meet with someone who treats pregnancy and birth as a natural thing and not a disease. I used to think, "But what if something happens during delivery and you need the hospital's equipment and specialties?" But now that I know a little more, I'm embarrassed that I ever thought that! This midwife, I can only speak for her, b/c I don't know others, but she has safely delivered more babies without the need for c-sections, than any doctor I know. She actually knows other techniques besides incisions when things aren't going smoothly. What a concept? Anyway, she's delievered 2 of my friends in the past 2 weeks and has delivered more than 1,000 babies. I'm excited about this journey and thank all of my friends who have been inspirations to me in this area.

I also started using cloth diapers about 2 weeks ago. I searched for months to learn more and finally ordered from comfy bummy online. The main reasons I went this way were:

1 - environmental impact. The hundreds of diapers I personally throw into the environment MONTHLY is a shame.

2 - cost. Research estimates a savings (after all things considered) of $2,000.00 per child over the course of diapering years (0-3).

3 - my children's bodies, i.e. health and comfort. Knowing what I'm putting against their skin is natural.

Do I sound granola yet? Regardless - I'm happier and more content with life than ever before, so, it can't be too crazy.

Creativity in Education

2008-09-20T14:26:00.000-07:00

If you are a parent who hopes for the BEST educational opportunities for your children, please watch this brilliant (and humorous) presentation til the end. When you are moved by its contents - decide to do something about it! Don't subject your creative children to a slow, uninspiring, educational death.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9CE55wbtY

"I LOVE YOU MORE THAN..."

2008-09-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

I was tucking Sikeli, my 4 year old, into bed and I said to him, "I love you more than anything in this whole world!"
He quickly replied with an even BIGGER, BETTER compliment, "I love you more than a box of macaroni and cheese."
I accepted the compliment, choking down the laughter. I knew I was a top rate mom - right up there with Mac & Cheese!!!

Today Sikeli told Sai that there are 3 important people in this world: Barack Obama, Jesus Christ and President Monson.

His 3 year old brother, Aisea, corrected him on one of his nominees: It's John McCain, not Barak Obama!

We have our own little political campaign going on at home, apparently!

CLEARING THE MISTS OF DARKNESS

Building on the last entry about the POWER OF INTENTION, which truly, I believe is FAITH. I wanted to share another component of power. But I'll begin with a little story.

Two years ago, I started training for my 1st marathon. We lived in Laie, Hawaii (sigh....) and I found that running was not about running. (I love Lance Armstrong's book entitled, "It's Not About the Bike." I feel the same about running.) So, while I was running one day, I chose to meditate about a long-term problem I'd had ...anger. Now, this anger, in childhood, was a protection, a defense, I didn't let ANYONE push me around. I remember in 5th grade being teased after school by one of our grade's biggest bullies (TJ Linfante, for those of you who went to East Elementary) and do you know what I did? I shoved him into the bushes and walked home. I often caused fights with my siblings - but they're all too mellow (darn peacemakers) to ever fight back. I sassed my parents (but didn't get to far with that). I discovered, during that personal development class at Dixie College, that I highly value JUSTICE (later discovered that is a common trait among social work professionals). So any time that I felt that I, or anyone else, was being treated unfairly or disrespectfully, I came UNGLUED!

As an adult, the anger, although subdued, could be sparked again with unjustice - if I felt I wasnt' treated fairly in the home, or in public, by an institution, etc. And I'd really get angry with people that I thought were just plain stupid (an indication of an incompetence complex within myself, but that's another story for another therapy session).

So, there I was, running down Naniloa Loop, past the gorgeous BYU-Hawaii campus, heading toward the ocean, and I ask my Creator a question I'd asked myself so many times before, "Why do I STILL have this anger problem? And, "How do I fix it?"

For a minute I rambled on, "I mean, I know that anger is really just a mask for fear - I learned that in therapy classes. And that the antithesis of FEAR is FAITH - so do I just need more FAITH?" That just didn't seem to be enough for me, so I asked again, "Why do I STILL have this anger problem? And, "How do I fix it?"

This time, I shut up and got the answer - it came while running, of all things. But first, came this question, "What is the opposite of Anger?"

"Hmm. Anger is hatred, so I guess the opposite would be love???"

"Yes! That's it." confirmed the Spirit. "The opposite of anger IS love."

"Great. So I just need to love more people?" Came my not-so-satisfied response. That just sounded SO cliche.

"No. You don't need to love more people, you need to love God and be filled with the Love of God."

WOA! "You mean, I'm not?" That stifling reality that I, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was NOT filled with the love of God, was a bit of a blow to my religious ego. However, not hard to admit, in all honesty, that it was true.

From this point on I went home and began a study of the Love of God. "What exactly is the Love of God?" I asked. "Where is it?" And "How do I get it?"

So fast-forward to today, Sept. 19, 2008, I was running again this morning, training for a marathon, and this whole experience came back to my mind. I reflected on how life changing it was for me and truly freeing of 29 years of being burdened by anger in my life.

Just to share what I've learned - It all comes from the Book of Mormon and Lehi's dream. Lehi teaches that the Love of God is the Tree of Life - which bears a fruit more desirable than any other thing. His dream also teaches us how WE can love God and be filled with the Love of God - it comes in the form of an iron rod. Holding to the rod will get us to the tree - it's the path. The iron rod represents the Word of God. That word is the scriptures and words of modern day prophets.

So my answer to years and years of a weakness, a crippling personality trait of anger, was really so simple (as is all of the Gospel of Jesus Christ), "ABSORB THE SCRIPTURES & THE WORDS OF PROPHETS."

I think of a mission companion who once said in her testimony, "I love the scriptures so much, I wish I could eat them." (I thought the pressure of serving in the staunch, Catholic country of Spain had consumed her brain.) Then she continued, "Because if I ate them, then they would become part of me."

What a concept - think of the metaphor - to eat something so that it goes into your body and becomes part of the matter that nourishes and builds every organ, every bone, muscle and cell. Wow. If we could consume, digest and absorb the scriptures, metaphorically speaking, we would be filled with the Love of God.

The Power of Intention

2008-09-12T23:17:00.000-07:00

I am so into personal development right now. During my associate degree-seeking days at Dixie College, I took a 1 credit class called "Personal Development" taught by a hippy-style woman that was the coolest person I'd met up 'til that point. I loved the class so much and asked the instructor why it wasn't a required class! Looking back, it was the most beneficial, impactful course of my entire college career! (All for 1 credit.)

Moving on,

Life is about cycles and my current cycle is back into personal development.

This week we have been putting into practice the "power of intention." And I just felt like sharing.

An intention is different than a goal - maybe it's just semantics - but in my mind, they're different.

My own definition of intention is that it is something you're grateful for now, that exists now, but may be currently en route to you. You may not have it, physically, literally, at the moment, but it is an "intention" in your life that is real, possible, perhaps even inevitable AS LONG AS you participate in the equation that predicates its receipt.

Let's see if Mark can explain this better - (Bible, Mark 11:24)

"Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."

And from the "voice of 2 or 3 witnesses..."

Moroni 7: 26 (Book of Mormon)

"...Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receive, behold, it shall be done unto you."

These two examples of intentions introduce, or expound on, an equation, a pattern, an actual formula for obtaining anything. Imagine you're wanting something, praying for it. Is that thing you want suddenly created after your prayer is received? No - it exists already. Where is it? When will it come to you? How will it get to you? Will it ever come to you if you don't instigate its receipt through participation in the equation/formula upon which it is predicated? That's my question - that's my journey.

Will you receive it if you pray for it WITHOUT faith? Without REALLY believing that you deserve, or can possibly receive it? Let's be honest, how many of our prayers are undermined by these negative, fearful, disbelieving feelings? Perhaps only unconsciously for many of us. This will be another topic for another day, but I'm convinced that many of us who consider ourselves to be "faithful" individuals actually run day to day on Premium, Unleaded Fear, not faith. I digress...

What does an INTENTION sound like?

Example, "I am grateful for the home we own."

Is there a home out there for us? I know there is. Am I in it right now? Nope. Am I grateful for it today? Yes!

Example #2, "I am grateful for the successful home birth of my 4th child." Have I delivered yet? Not for another 6 months. Am I grateful for it? Yes!

What is the purpose of having, stating, believing in intentions?

It is the process (literally, the formula/equation/process) of bringing into our lives the things we most desire. Without it, obtaining our desires is as unpredictable and as fleeting as catching, and keeping, a bubble on a toothpick.

Where did all this come from? You ask. I had a nap today. It's amazing how many synapses can fire when I'm not sleep deprived.

Photos and Stuff

2008-09-08T20:44:00.001-07:00

Here's more about Mr. Sai, the handsome guy.... So, after 2, 30-day cleanses, he's lost 50 lbs. We found a nice photo from 1 year ago in Hawaii showing the old Sai and wanted to compare it with today's Sai.

Below is a photo from a Nutritional Cleansing Convention I attended in Las Vegas at the beginning of August. Pictured with 2 sisters-in-law, Annie and Fiona, and my cousin, Amanda. We had so much fun!

Next post will be pics of the kids, I promise. They're much cuter than we are!

More details???

2008-09-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

It was suggested that I needed to share more details about my pregnancy - due date, etc. But, I don't have anymore details! All I know is that I'm pregnant, there's a bit of discrepancy as to how far along I am.. I honestly have no clue. So, I'll keep you posted as we figure it out!

SIMPLICITY

I'm inspired today by simplicity. Yet it is so difficult to create it in our lives today. I marvel at the constant motion of everything around us, I wonder how we don't exist in a constant state of vertigo. Cell phones buzzing, ringing, dinging, "New Text Message," or "Voicemail." Emails, Ipods, noise, noise, noise and distractions -
When was the last time you tried to read a book to one of your children? What happened? Phone rings, oven timer dings, doorbell chimes, other child starts crying or is hungry, dryer buzzing - more laundry to fold....it's crazy. And for me, it takes a serious effort to BLOCK OUT all of that distraction, and stay focused on the most important - that one on one moment with a child (or two, or three, or soon-to-be four!)
I love where we live - in the mountains, b/c it is far from a city and can help remind me of the need to create a space for SIMPLICITY in my life. Simplicity brings peace, happiness, focus, and closeness of relationships. No wonder there's such drastic opposition to it!

My dream, honestly, is to live on a large plot of land, with a huge, organic garden, a clothesline, a horse or two, and mountains and ocean nearby (likely, in Fiji.) I would wear a skirt or dress nearly every day and sing like Maria VonTrapp to my 10 children. Okay, this fantasy has gone far enough, but that is my dream.

You Know You're Pregnant When....

2008-08-29T19:30:00.001-07:00

1. You crave everything but can't stand the sight or smell of anything.
2. You have slept all night but feel like you've been hit by a steamroller when it's time to get out of bed.
3. You feel nausea around dinner time..."hmm, this is unusal???"
4. You leave the library bawling after receiving an unhappy email.
5. You tear the head and neck off of customer service reps who do not effectively and efficiently solve your problems the first time you call.
6. You feel like just getting to and through church meetings on Sundays has the same effect on your body as running a marathon (okay, maybe this applies to just any time when you have 3 boys under the age of 5).
7. Your husband can't do anything right.

So why did I need to take the pregnancy test? Just to confirm it, I guess.
YES, WE ARE EXPECTING BABY #4!

Pictures, Finally

2008-08-02T21:14:00.000-07:00

As promised, here are some before and after shots. These are from our 30 day cleansing experience. We are so glad we did it and we're continuing to learn about health and nutrition. We learned that .... we have a lot to learn!

Awesome Year

2008-07-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting to make this post until I had internet access and my digital camera in the same place at the same time - but I've decided my luck is NOT that good!

I feel grateful for friends and family. I have had an awesome year of connecting and re-connecting with people I love. I have wanted to post pics of some of these reunions, but we'll have to try getting the photos up another time.

I have had 3 great friends (all at 30+ yrs. old) get married this year - and a 4th is not far behind. I love that! I love seeing timing and opportunities unfold in other people's lives.

I have seen several good friends from our old "Laie Playgroup" and it has been AWESOME! They are so much fun to get together with! They kids all play like it was yesterday that we were together in Laie and the moms are just as creative, smart and beautiful (and pregnant) as they were the last time I saw them. (Someone is always pregnant in that group).

I've seen relatives and adopted grandparents and taken the kids to fun, new places.
This week we're in St. George. We went to a small town (Gunlock) rodeo one night and then on the 4th we went to the play of High School Musical. Quite a contrast, rodeo one night - where the boys did a "Chicken Chase," and then a play the next - but it's fabulous! They are learning so much and being exposed to so much. The play was amazing - now I understand what all the hype is about.

Today is just about gratitude - for health, love, dreams and relationships. These are the best days of our life.

(Happy Birthday to Amber and Trevor - friends since childhood!)

The other day....I met a BEAR...A great big Bear...

2008-07-01T11:12:00.001-07:00

Oh way out there!

I was running early in the morning, on a trail IN TOWN - right down a residential street, when I saw a fluffy "black dog." As my eyes became more focused, I realized it was a REAL BEAR! "Oh, so cute!" I thought. Then realized, "Wait a minute!!! This is NOT Hogle Zoo!" It looked right at me. I stopped running, so as not to encourage a chase. Then I grabbed for my cell phone to get a photo, but the bear turned and ran into the back yard of the home it was near. It was awesome!

Earlier in June, I was in Salt Lake City, running in West Jordan, and I saw 5 peacocks on the side walk. This week I was running near Snow Canyon in St. George and I saw 2 bunnies. I feel like a regular forrest ranger. I love animals in nature!

Update on the cleanse....

Unbelievable - I'm sorry I haven't been able to blog more regularly, but let me say, Sai and I have gotten more out of this then we even hoped for. It has been LIFE CHANGING not just physically, but emotionally, socially, mentally and spiritually.

Starting with me - I have lost 15 lbs of FAT! I weigh now what I did in middle school. I am sleeping so well, in REM, having dreams and getting rested. I have more energy --- I'm waking up at 5 a.m. to go running. And if I were not in marathon training, perhaps, I would not even realize what FUEL it is to my body. But because I am running hard, I have seen it spur my strength and endurance and even speed. I'm running at a rate that I hadn't even hoped for.

(I planned to train for a 10 minute mile marathon, and now I'm doing 9 minute miles.)

Plus - my baby is able to take sips of my shakes in the morning and night and he no longer needs the RX laxative that 3 pediatricians recommended. He is gaining weight, eating better, sleeping longer and having regular, healthy BM's.

Next, dear Sai .....

He has lost over 30 1bs! He is in shock and TOTALLY ELATED!!! He's exercising every day, loving it, and feeling his strength increase, great sleep, and a new mental clarity. He is TOTALLY CONVERTED!

We have learned so much about nutrition - my favorite is the difference (and benefit) of CLEANSING VS DIETING. Cleansing is a gift of gratitude and health for your body - whereas dieting is about food restriction and self inflict :)

I'll share more in coming days (including photos as soon as I see Sai again!)

Here's a glimpse of "before" photos taken the 1st week of June - Kudos to Natalie Norton (http://www.natalienortonphoto.com/ go there to see more photos of our family.)

Gaining Insight

2008-06-09T18:12:00.000-07:00

(I hope to have some pics up soon - hang in there.)
Had an awesome visit from some good old Hawaii friends this past week. The Norton's came to Aspen - what a treat! They were inspiring....

Within that inspiration, I began to gain some insight, as I cleanse, into some of my PATTERNS of behaving and eating. Patterns are important to recognize, because if we don't change the patterns, we'll continue to get the same results. The hard part, sometimes, can be changing the patterns.
Here's mine:
Quite often in late afternoon - I get tired, sleepy. When I'm sleepy, I "transform" (one of Sikeli's favorite new words, always used in lieu of "change") into Grumpy Dwarf. At these times, I begin to feel overwhelmed,as if I can't get done everything I need to get done. I feel less and less hopeful until something happens to change this negative, downward spiral - which usually is to go to bed. Most often, by morning, I'm renewed and hopeful again. (Usually. Unless someone wet the bed and another had a night terror and another needed a snack during the night, etc:)

I have just learned that when I'm tired and feeling stressed, my BLOOD SUGAR DROPS! When blood sugar drops, I feel hungry. When I feel hungry and tired and stressed ALL AT ONCE, I eat - and I overeat - and I overeat things that are not rejuvenating. I eat things that take all my digestive energies and make the rest of me shutdown and want to sleep even more.

I fell off the cleanse wagon one night - and had Little Caesar's pizza. I paid dearly. I immediately felt sleepy, but it wasn't bed time yet. The rest of the night, that negativity returned that I hadn't felt since beginning the cleanse. I literally saw and felt the polar opposite in mood as it is impacted by nutrition. I was in awe. If nutrition can help me stabilize and maintain a positive outlook and optimistic view, I'm going to do all I can to keep learning about and LIVING nutrition.

Into the Cleanse

2008-06-03T18:43:00.000-07:00

Sai and I started our 30-day c leanse on May 30...I just couldn't wait!
It is so awesome! We are both enjoying the great benefits and feeling the positive effects.
We are sleeping so well and feeling really rested. Which, in turn, allows us to get up early and exercise.
We started preparing for the cleanse 2 weeks before by eliminating any unnecessary foods and adding more nutrients/vitamins/minerals into our daily consumption. From those 2 1/2 weeks ago until now, - Sai has lost 20 lbs and co-workers were the first to notice (after me, of course.)
He was just in shock when he got on the scale!
The awesome part is we know it's not water, because we are increasing our muscle mass and our body fat % is decreasing. It's just all that fatty "food storage" we've been hauling around. When our church leaders encourage us to have a 2 year supply of food - we took them a little too seriously!!!
We want to recognize our "cleanse buddies" as well - Bridgette, who has lost over 20 lbs in 30 days and Jen who is currently doing a 9-day. To the friends beginning this week - WELCOME TO THE CULTURE OF FUN, FIT & FEELING FABULOUS!

Family Photos

2008-05-22T19:06:00.001-07:00

Maika Ramon: cuddle bug, dog lover, dust-buster, wants to be in the middle of his older 2 brothers at all times! Aisea Omar: hard to photograph! Always, always on the go, STRONG-WILLED, loving, INDEPENDENT, curious, and very, very funny!
Sikeli Paul: wise beyond his years, articulate, intuitive, spiritually sensitive, a teaser!
The Naivalu Clan - Family Mission Statement: Learn, Work, Serve, Love

On Your Mark, Get Set...GO CLEANSE!

2008-05-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

LIVE FROM ASPEN COLORADO! (We're back blogging already)

And this is my exciting news....

For the month of JUNE, I am going to embark on a 30 day cleanse!

It just so happens, I'll be turning 31 in June, and I fully expect to make my 30's the best decade of my life (in terms of health and happiness).

So far, we're on the right track. St. George marathon, Oct. 2008 - Here I come!

What is cleansing? See this awesome explanation - go to this page and click on "Cleansed for Life" Video. http://www.isagenix.com/us/en/tours.dhtml

(Also watch "Dr. Dr...." video for great nutritional info.)

Several years ago, I learned the benefits of cleansing. I returned from 3 months in Fiji with countless boils - ya, pretty thought, I know. I'd also had dengue fever (an island sickness) and who knows how much food poisoning. A result of this depleted immune system was a very depleted state of mental health as well. I cleansed and recovered immediately! (Much to the astonishment of my therapist at the time :) From then on, I have LOVED CLEANSING!

I have tried various types of cleanses, such as the Lemon Colon Cleanse (from the Master Cleanser) and I try to make cleansing an annual part of my life.

This year, I am so excited, because (I'm not pregnant or nursing) and can do a full 30 day cleanse!

These are some (but not all) of the benefits:

INCREASED ENERGY (hip-hip hurray!)

INCREASED MENTAL CLARITY (i.e. ideas, creativity, ambition & inspiration flooding the brain)

MOOD ELEVATION

FAT LOSS

A NEW RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD - NEW, HEALTHIER HABITS (like not using food for emotional comfort)

A FLUSHED, EFFICIENT INTERNAL SYSTEM (= less susceptibility for sickness).

If any of these sound appealing to you, I invite you to JOIN me for the month of JUNE. I want a CLEANSING TEAM to share in this life enhancing experience!!!

If you are bold enough and disciplined enough to commit - email me for more info at:

first name last name (then the number) 17 @yahoo.com

I would LOVE for you to share in this!

Moving to Colorado

2008-05-01T20:08:00.000-07:00

Here are my cute boys. Growing, so amazing, and such a privilege to parent.

We're taking a blogging break - We're on our way to Colorado for the off-season.

No internet for a while - hope you all can survive w/out us :)

SALT LAKE 1/2 MARATHON

2008-04-26T17:40:00.000-07:00

All I can say is, "I finished." It wasn't pretty (my running, that is,) and it wasn't a record, but I finished.
Here is the highlight. I was at the starting point, really disappointed to be alone in a strange place, on an unfamiliar course, without anyone I knew to cheer me on by my side. Then, someone shouted, "Angel Mathews!!!" (maiden name). And there in my face was an old St. George friend of mine and her husband - in a crowd of 12,000 people. How kind is our Heavenly Father. And we were at the same pace (well, for about 1/2 of it. Then they left me in their dust.)

There were times I wanted to quit, but I had some pressure to finish, though. Sai had to be at the airport by 10:30 a.m. to catch a flight to a wedding in San Fran. That, and Johnny Cash singing, "Orange Blossom Special" on my ipod shuffle kept me shuffling!!!
I just learned of a new site that looks fun - marathonmommies.blogspot.com. Check it out if you like to run.
I'm looking forward to the St. George FULL marathon this Oct.
Thanks to my pals for your comments.

What is this all about, anyway?

2008-04-16T18:39:00.000-07:00

Obviously, I lost the blogging fire.
Sorry, Nat, for being the "worst blogger ever!"
I just don't get it? I just don't get it. Blogging?
I haven't been writing, but I've been doing ALOT of observation and introspection in regards to blogging.
Right now, I'm blogging, for the reason, I suspect, creates the addiction for people like me - I'm avoiding and escaping reality!
I need to pack the car so my boys and I can do on a trip tomorrow. I'm stressed. What a great time to blog!!! (Procrastination!)

Here's an update -
My husband and I have been geographically separated since October 2007 (that's going on 7 months). Just for the record - that's "geographically" because of work transitions.
In Jan. he started working in Aspen, Colorado. Nice job. Too cold for me, and no available (affordable) family housing in the winter. We're hoping to reunite within the next couple of weeks as the snow melts. He's been great to drive the 7 hours every week he can make it to see us on his days off.
THIS SATURDAY - APRIL 19 -I'm running the SLC 1/2 marathon.
Overall, we are doing well - much to be grateful for!

2008-02-09T12:49:00.000-08:00

Hi friends,
read this: about baby einstein.
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1650352,00.html
I thought this was important info for parents. We all mean so well! Goes to show that you don't have to spend $ to have well-developed children. Good reminder for all of us.

Also, this article alludes to the correlation between tv watching by babies and toddlers (and all kids) and having ADHD. From my perspective (clinical social worker by education) I think it is an obvious correlation there, with additional negative ramifications in the area of attachment, language development, etc.
being a parent is tough - an often we need to do other things than read to our kids . in lieu of TV watching - lets share some new ideas. I get in a rut sometimes and it's nice to have tips from others.
My sister gave me this one - tin foil sculpting. Crazy!?! but cheap and fun. tear off a sheet of tin foil about the size of a cake pan, for each child and sculpt whatever you can. in time, the creations get more advanced. it is pretty entertaining.

What else do you have for me?

It's official: I'm raising Curious George

2008-01-26T19:09:00.000-08:00

January 20, 2008

It was a busy Sunday. Sai had been home in St. George with us for 1 week between finishing his work at Turtle Bay Resort on Oahu and heading to Aspen, Colorado to start a new job at The Gant resort. After sending him off that morning, we attended church. Later in the evening, I was just getting ready to attend an enrichment meeting. I went to the bathroom, and as all mothers should know – that is when the chaos struck!

I came from the bathroom into the kitchen to discover 2 ½ year old Aisea on the counter, with the cupboard open, Aunt Lisa’s pill tray out and colored powder on his lips. It took a couple of seconds to sink in, then I started shouting for my mom, whom I was so grateful was still in town!!!

She came running and filled in as my brain for the next 24 hours.

My sister, Michelle got on the phone to Poison Control. Between mom and Michelle, they were able to tell the Poison Control that he had taken just 1 pill and what kind it was - a blood pressure medication. Luckily for us, the pills were laid out in a daily dose container and so it was easy to see which one he had eaten – lots better than if he’d been in a bottle of pills.

Meanwhile, I had Aisea at the sink and he was acting weird, sticking his tongue out and trying to wipe it with his fingers. I guess the powder and taste of the pill was not appetizing (THANK HEAVENS!!!) He was kind of crying, more like whining, like he was frustrated or irritated. He said it was burning. He kept asking for water. Mom told me to gag him. I tried twice, but nothing happened. Then, in a calm moment. Aisea just leaned over the sink, stuck 3 fingers WAY down his throat, and threw up. There was half of the pill. I had to look away and spray it all down the sink to avoid throwing up myself. Watching others vomit without dry heaving myself is not exactly my strength.
I felt more at ease, but was still a little concerned that he may have consumed more than we thought.
Aunt Shell was still on the phone and soon the Poison Control operator directed us to take him to the ER.
At the hospital, my dad and our home teacher, Greg Abbott, gave Aisea a blessing. He was acting normal by this point, just tired. He was interested in the toys in the waiting room.

Trying to convince Aisea that the heart monitor cords were like Spiderman webs went over fairly well. As long as I kept making up stories and keeping his eyes and mind occupied, he let the medical personnel manhandle him. They decided to keep him overnight and transferred him (1st ambulance ride) to the pediatrics campus.

Everything turned out well in the end, absolutely no effects were apparent. My mom came to the hospital whenever Maika woke up and needed to be fed. She would stay with Aisea while I ran home to do the feeding. (Handy that we live just 1 block away!)

The following day, after we were home and all of the adults’ nerves were returning to normal, my mom tells me, “Last night when I was with Aisea, trying to get him to sleep, I was rubbing his arm and noticed a tourniquet still on his upper arm, underneath his shirt sleeve. His arm was considerably darker than the rest of his skin.” She said she ran out to the nurses desk to alert them and they were in the room before she knew it. And they removed it.

This made my heart sink! The poor little boy, goes to the hospital to HAVE something happen to him!?! The nurse at the ER had put the tourniquet on to find a vein to insert the IV and left it there. It was maybe 2 hours that he was wearing it. I’m so grateful for my mom! I may not have noticed it!!!!!

In the end, all was well.

SAY-GO-BE-DO

2008-01-18T18:06:00.000-08:00

What is a, “SAY-GO-BE-DO?”
It is just ONE of the life-changing principles that is impacting my family this year.

Here’s the story:
My friend, Tiffany, was in church, singing the hymn, “I’ll Go Where You Want Me To Go.” Feeling inspired, she began to jot down key words while she sang. When she looked at her paper, she saw the words, “SAY-GO-BE-DO.”

Tiffany and others have developed this word chain into a phrase that is changing lives! It is the theme for an annual youth conference called, “Youth For America.”

Here’s what it means:
Whenever you SAY (with your mind, heart, or mouth), that you should do something, want to do something, could or ought to do something, then you STOP AND TAKE NOTICE!
Next, you GO! You ACT on that thought.
Then you BEcome who you were prompted to become, and
You DO what it was you were supposed to do.

You may have heard similar thoughts, such as, “Listen to the still, small voice. “ Or “Follow the promptings of the Spirit.” BUT HOW OFTEN DO WE DO THAT?

How many times in a day do you think, “I should call that person?” “I should take my kids there.” “I should tell my spouse how much I love him.” And on and on….
How often do you have “good ideas” that would benefit your ward, family, or community? But the ideas fly out of your mind as quickly as they seemed to enter.

If we “SAY-GO-BE-DO,” then these thoughts will continue to come with greater intensity and purpose.

Just one moment this week when I put this into practice.
I was running around my neighborhood in the evening and contemplating the profound concept of “SAY-GO-BE-DO.” When I looked up and noticed I was passing a house, just across the street from my own, where I’d recently learned that a non-LDS family had moved into (in the years since I’ve lived at home.) I had been SAYING – “I should go introduce myself to them,” for several weeks. I had even thought, “I’ll take them a cheese ball for Christmas.” BUT I did NOT “SAY-GO-BE-DO.” It just died right after the SAY part.

So there I was, sweaty, stinky, and on-the-spot. Unfortunately, “SAY-GO-BE-DO” does not have a “sweaty, stinky” exemption clause.
I said a quick prayer and approached the door.
I spoke with the woman of the house for a little while. We had a great conversation, she was very amiable. But of all the miracles – come to find out, she has just taken up running!
I can’t help but wonder, if I hadn’t done my “SAY-GO-BE-DO,” at that moment, would running ever have come up in our conversation? Would I have been able to begin a relationship of trust built on a common denominator?
What matters is that I did follow that prompting and I felt so GRATEFUL that I did.

D&C 30: 5, 11
5 Behold, I say unto you, …for the time has come that it is expedient in me that you shall open your mouth to declare my gospel; therefore, fear not, but give heed unto the words and advice of your brother, which he shall give you.
• • •
11 And your whole labor shall be in Zion, with all your soul, from henceforth; yea, you shall ever open your mouth in my cause, not fearing what man can do, for I am with you. Amen.

It's like LIGHTENING!

2008-01-10T22:07:00.000-08:00

I am super excited about a few new things in life - I don't know which strand to address first, but I am so ENERGIZED by them, I just have to share. It's like LIGHTENING to my SOUL and BODY!

First, a BIG FAT THANKS to Kami Mitchell - On New Year's Eve she introduced me to the practice of gratitude.

It is SO different from the simple prayer statements of, "Thank you for ...."

This is WAKING UP and saying, "I AM GRATEFUL FOR ________" and then continuing with at leat 5 things, each time saying the complete phrase, ""I AM GRATEFUL FOR ________."

And then, getting into your "Gratitude Journal" and writing down what you're grateful for TODAY, then writing what you want to have come into your life and already feeling grateful for.

I was in a total FUNK (definition: A trendy word for "Depression.") for a while over the holidays. While I was having some great times, I felt a decrease in energy and motivation (hmmm, lots of extra sugar, no exercise, lots of gatherings with germy relatives, I wonder what was behind the fatigue?)

But on New Year's Eve, thanks to Kami's mentoring, I was able to RENEW my desire to RUN again. And so....

On New Year's Day at 5:00 a.m. when I thought I wanted to stay in bed, I said, "I'm grateful to be breathing." As I got dressed and headed out into the cold, dark air, I could honestly say, "I'm grateful that my legs work. I'm grateful that there is NO SNOW in St. George..." and on from there.

SURPRISINGLY - Can I just say - I felt a physical release - a loosness in my body, especially my shoulders and chest after saying these gratitude statements aloud and literally envisioning them coming right out of my heart! woa! And I ran 3 miles.

Suddenly - I was transformed out of my FUNK and into my CHI. (Definition: trendy term for being in tune with your mind/body/spirit connection). I have been running since Jan 1 and will run 10 miles tomorrow! NO JOKE! I have more energy during the days and feel recognizably more optimistic, patient, loving and GRATEFUL all day long.

Go Ahead - try it - And then tell me about YOUR EXPERIENCE!

(At night I've been telling my boys, "I'm grateful that you spent time with me today." "I'm grateful that you helped me make dinner." Etc. It's revolutionary!)

WHY RUN A MARATHON?

2008-01-09T14:36:00.001-08:00

HAVE YOU EVER RUN A MARATHON?
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO RUN A MARATHON?
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT, "NEVER, NO WAY, IT'S NOT FOR ME." ?
WATCH THIS VIDEO - THIS IS MY FAVORITE ADDICTION!
SLC MARATHON APRIL 19, 2008 ---- HERE I COME BABY!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-8XSit8XyeM

ADDICTION

2008-01-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

I have heard and ignored whisperings of the spirit for sometime now.

It's at the end of the day, when I lay down to sleep, that my mind starts to unwind and I think of things other than who is hungry, who needs to be changed, when I'm going to get the shopping done, what we're going to eat for each meal (etc....you all know the routine). Time and time again during these "unlaxing" moments I have had subtle thoughts come to me about the urgency of delving deeper into consistent scripture study. I respond to these promptings with, "Scriptures! Who has time for scriptures? Let alone my Sunday lesson manuals, good grief! I'm too tired at night to even see straight, the mornings are too hectic, and I'm running all day from child to child answering never ending summons!"

And then, during one particular "justification session," a humbling realization hit me.

I have an ADDICTION.

Then the following questions entered my mind like a courthouse interrogation:

"Do you have time to answer the cell phone during the day?"

"Do you have time to read and compose emails?"

The answers to each were an obvious, "Yes."

A final question came, "How is it you have plenty of TIME to communicate with so many other people and you have no time for the Lord?"

From this humbling call to repentence, I began to evaluate how and when I use the internet. While I thought I was not obsessed or addicted, because I so honestly log on only "when kids are sleeping or spending quality time with someone else", (uh, huh) I came to realize that it is my preferred form of escape and entertainment, all disguised by the cloak of "I'm just keeping in touch with friends and family."

I decided to challenge myself -

I WILL NOT LOG ON TO EMAIL OR ANSWER A CELL PHONE UNTIL I HAVE READ MY SCRIPTURES EACH DAY.

Some interesting things have occurred - I was surprised at my own addictive behaviors and responses.

While immersed in the scriptures, guess what I've discovered? They're screaming with prophecies and warnings that apply to our time!

I've had to ask myself, "Great and Spacious Building or Iron Rod....Where do I stand?"

This will be a fabulous new year!

Inspired by Elder Ballard

2007-12-29T22:55:00.000-08:00

I have been wondering what purpose blogging could have in my life, if any, other than a medium on which to spread Christmas wishes. Then my husband told me of the comments made by Elder Ballard at the December graduation ceremony at BYU-Hawaii.

"May I ask that you join the conversation by participating on the Internet…to share the gospel and explain in simple, clear terms the message of the Restoration," he said.

http://newsroom.byuh.edu/?q=node/1514

A tremendous idea! With all the spam and smut on the internet, why not provide experiences of faith?

And never has there been a better time, with so many Americans searching for reasons whether or NOT to vote for Mitt Romney, "The Mormon," why not stand up take the opportunity to be heard?

As a side note, I asked myself one day, "Will I vote for Mitt Romney because he's a Mormon?" After a short time pondering that question, I then realized the answer is, "NO!......I will vote for Mitt Romney because he is a GOOD Mormon." (There is an important difference there.)

So thanks to Elder Ballard's invitation, Sai and I have decided to blog our "scripture journal" conversations here. We will be discussing and sharing thoughts from our personal study with eachother, and anyone else who stops to read.

Christmas Greetings

2007-12-16T16:59:00.000-08:00

Aloha! This is new for us! We just wanted to find a way to reach friends and family from Fiji, to Hawaii, to the Mainland to send our love and well wishes this holiday season. Most of all, we want to say Mahalo ("Thank You") to all of the people who have made us RICH through their lessons of love and friendship.

2007-12-16T16:58:00.000-08:00

2007-12-16T16:57:00.000-08:00

Christmas Greetings

2007-12-16T16:55:00.001-08:00

NAIVALU CLAN

Early Retirement

CEO MOM

DO YOU HAVE PARASITES?

Fear of Pain

Today's Aspen Daily News

Thoughts While Running...BAREFOOT

HERE I AM!

Just In Time!!!

A New, Competitive Sport - Couponing!

How Can I Teach All This?

Today While Running...

So what DO you eat?

Thoughts While Running

So much for good intentions...

More On Simulations

True Joy Comes from Living Priorities

Not the Ideal Simulation

Simulations - I

It Clicked

Gettin' Cultured - Part 2

Gettin' Cultured

Amazing

Just for fun

Empowerment

Share the Cause

Meeting the Brothers

The Outcome!

Still pregnant

Pet Peeve

Lincoln's Birthday Party

Update on Meditation

WHAT IS MEDITATION?

Mentoring Moments

What's Guiding YOUR Life Right Now?

I'm on a ROLL!

Recommended Reading

Party Planning Insights

PRAY ALWAYS - Elder Bednar

Knowledge = Salvation

Cloth Diaper Update

All I Want For Christmas... HEALTHY KIDS!!!

Thoughts on Reading from My Mission Comp

Marriage Insight from Gottman

"Non-Reader" Conversion Story

Ignorance is Bliss...But Knowledge is Joy

Washington DC trip photos....finally

Halloween

Where in the world are we?

Creativity in Education

"I LOVE YOU MORE THAN..."

The Power of Intention

Photos and Stuff

More details???

You Know You're Pregnant When....

Pictures, Finally

Awesome Year

The other day....I met a BEAR...A great big Bear...

Gaining Insight

Into the Cleanse

Family Photos

On Your Mark, Get Set...GO CLEANSE!

Moving to Colorado

SALT LAKE 1/2 MARATHON

What is this all about, anyway?

It's official: I'm raising Curious George

SAY-GO-BE-DO

It's like LIGHTENING!

WHY RUN A MARATHON?

ADDICTION

Inspired by Elder Ballard

Christmas Greetings

Christmas Greetings