"I LOVE YOU MORE THAN..."

I was tucking Sikeli, my 4 year old, into bed and I said to him, "I love you more than anything in this whole world!"
He quickly replied with an even BIGGER, BETTER compliment, "I love you more than a box of macaroni and cheese."
I accepted the compliment, choking down the laughter. I knew I was a top rate mom - right up there with Mac & Cheese!!!

Today Sikeli told Sai that there are 3 important people in this world: Barack Obama, Jesus Christ and President Monson.


His 3 year old brother, Aisea, corrected him on one of his nominees: It's John McCain, not Barak Obama!


We have our own little political campaign going on at home, apparently!





CLEARING THE MISTS OF DARKNESS


Building on the last entry about the POWER OF INTENTION, which truly, I believe is FAITH. I wanted to share another component of power. But I'll begin with a little story.


Two years ago, I started training for my 1st marathon. We lived in Laie, Hawaii (sigh....) and I found that running was not about running. (I love Lance Armstrong's book entitled, "It's Not About the Bike." I feel the same about running.) So, while I was running one day, I chose to meditate about a long-term problem I'd had ...anger. Now, this anger, in childhood, was a protection, a defense, I didn't let ANYONE push me around. I remember in 5th grade being teased after school by one of our grade's biggest bullies (TJ Linfante, for those of you who went to East Elementary) and do you know what I did? I shoved him into the bushes and walked home. I often caused fights with my siblings - but they're all too mellow (darn peacemakers) to ever fight back. I sassed my parents (but didn't get to far with that). I discovered, during that personal development class at Dixie College, that I highly value JUSTICE (later discovered that is a common trait among social work professionals). So any time that I felt that I, or anyone else, was being treated unfairly or disrespectfully, I came UNGLUED!


As an adult, the anger, although subdued, could be sparked again with unjustice - if I felt I wasnt' treated fairly in the home, or in public, by an institution, etc. And I'd really get angry with people that I thought were just plain stupid (an indication of an incompetence complex within myself, but that's another story for another therapy session).


So, there I was, running down Naniloa Loop, past the gorgeous BYU-Hawaii campus, heading toward the ocean, and I ask my Creator a question I'd asked myself so many times before, "Why do I STILL have this anger problem? And, "How do I fix it?"


For a minute I rambled on, "I mean, I know that anger is really just a mask for fear - I learned that in therapy classes. And that the antithesis of FEAR is FAITH - so do I just need more FAITH?" That just didn't seem to be enough for me, so I asked again, "Why do I STILL have this anger problem? And, "How do I fix it?"


This time, I shut up and got the answer - it came while running, of all things. But first, came this question, "What is the opposite of Anger?"


"Hmm. Anger is hatred, so I guess the opposite would be love???"


"Yes! That's it." confirmed the Spirit. "The opposite of anger IS love."


"Great. So I just need to love more people?" Came my not-so-satisfied response. That just sounded SO cliche.


"No. You don't need to love more people, you need to love God and be filled with the Love of God."


WOA! "You mean, I'm not?" That stifling reality that I, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was NOT filled with the love of God, was a bit of a blow to my religious ego. However, not hard to admit, in all honesty, that it was true.


From this point on I went home and began a study of the Love of God. "What exactly is the Love of God?" I asked. "Where is it?" And "How do I get it?"


So fast-forward to today, Sept. 19, 2008, I was running again this morning, training for a marathon, and this whole experience came back to my mind. I reflected on how life changing it was for me and truly freeing of 29 years of being burdened by anger in my life.


Just to share what I've learned - It all comes from the Book of Mormon and Lehi's dream. Lehi teaches that the Love of God is the Tree of Life - which bears a fruit more desirable than any other thing. His dream also teaches us how WE can love God and be filled with the Love of God - it comes in the form of an iron rod. Holding to the rod will get us to the tree - it's the path. The iron rod represents the Word of God. That word is the scriptures and words of modern day prophets.


So my answer to years and years of a weakness, a crippling personality trait of anger, was really so simple (as is all of the Gospel of Jesus Christ), "ABSORB THE SCRIPTURES & THE WORDS OF PROPHETS."


I think of a mission companion who once said in her testimony, "I love the scriptures so much, I wish I could eat them." (I thought the pressure of serving in the staunch, Catholic country of Spain had consumed her brain.) Then she continued, "Because if I ate them, then they would become part of me."


What a concept - think of the metaphor - to eat something so that it goes into your body and becomes part of the matter that nourishes and builds every organ, every bone, muscle and cell. Wow. If we could consume, digest and absorb the scriptures, metaphorically speaking, we would be filled with the Love of God.