It just happened. I noticed. And I am grateful.
I have been preparing for my son's birthday party. His interest in Knights led easily into a party theme. Without premeditation, the actual party planning and preparation taught me an important lesson: children, character, memories and love are more important than the outcome.
It seems an obvious lesson, but here's what happened. I came up with ideas for decorations, games, food, costumes, etc. Then when it came time to construct and paint the cardboard castle, I decided to invite my boys to help paint. However, I had one moment of, "If they help, it will be so messy, take longer, be more difficult...." and then I heard my own thoughts. "What am I thinking!?! Of course they need to help paint it!"
Luckily, my dad and brother took over the "design and construction" portion, and, without volunteering, supervised the painting too. I was putting crowns together and watching out the window as my boys giggled, shouted and squealed over the experience. Watching their joy as cardboard was transformed before their eyes into a knight's castle was one of the greatest moments of my life. All at once, I saw the layers of meaning: participation, work, teamwork, contribution toward a final project, intergenerational mentoring, stewardship, memories, responsibility, capability, creativity, .... and of course, plain, old, messy, fun.
They made something that will last beyond the hours of the party. It will be their castle. I hear them say it's "SO AWESOME!"
I thought about how easy it is, as the mother, to plan, prepare and DO everything. I thought about being able to BUY everything for a "fun themed party." And then I compared it with what took place: "What's the point?" I thought. "Of a fancy, decorated, theme party of which the kids had no part in preparing? What's cool about that?"
I was taught by a mentor greater than myself, in this situation, that "doing it the right way" is not about how the end result will look to myself or anyone else, but how it is perceived by the child(ren).
"Grandpa" Wells has taught that great parenting, and the development of good character, do not occur in the grandiose events of childhood. Rather, they develop over "a thousand small moments of parenting." This was one of those moments that will surely leave a tatoo on their souls.
I have been preparing for my son's birthday party. His interest in Knights led easily into a party theme. Without premeditation, the actual party planning and preparation taught me an important lesson: children, character, memories and love are more important than the outcome.
It seems an obvious lesson, but here's what happened. I came up with ideas for decorations, games, food, costumes, etc. Then when it came time to construct and paint the cardboard castle, I decided to invite my boys to help paint. However, I had one moment of, "If they help, it will be so messy, take longer, be more difficult...." and then I heard my own thoughts. "What am I thinking!?! Of course they need to help paint it!"
Luckily, my dad and brother took over the "design and construction" portion, and, without volunteering, supervised the painting too. I was putting crowns together and watching out the window as my boys giggled, shouted and squealed over the experience. Watching their joy as cardboard was transformed before their eyes into a knight's castle was one of the greatest moments of my life. All at once, I saw the layers of meaning: participation, work, teamwork, contribution toward a final project, intergenerational mentoring, stewardship, memories, responsibility, capability, creativity, .... and of course, plain, old, messy, fun.
They made something that will last beyond the hours of the party. It will be their castle. I hear them say it's "SO AWESOME!"
I thought about how easy it is, as the mother, to plan, prepare and DO everything. I thought about being able to BUY everything for a "fun themed party." And then I compared it with what took place: "What's the point?" I thought. "Of a fancy, decorated, theme party of which the kids had no part in preparing? What's cool about that?"
I was taught by a mentor greater than myself, in this situation, that "doing it the right way" is not about how the end result will look to myself or anyone else, but how it is perceived by the child(ren).
"Grandpa" Wells has taught that great parenting, and the development of good character, do not occur in the grandiose events of childhood. Rather, they develop over "a thousand small moments of parenting." This was one of those moments that will surely leave a tatoo on their souls.
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4 comments:
I absolutely LOVE planning my kids birthday parties! It is definately a highlight for me. I involve them as much as possible. I want them to remember the experience as fun, not stressful. I want to share in the memory of piecing together their fun... not just for them, but with them. It is awesome!! I start pretty early, like my 2nd son's birthday is in March and my oldest in April... I need to be prepared. We are getting ready now. Should be fun!
Angel...I love your blogs! They are so meaningful and encourages me to be a better person each day. Keep em coming cos I know you touch more lives than you can imagine. Vinaka Vakalevu!!!Loloma to the boys, Sai included. Was thinkin of a little get together with the Druava family and Dossi & Wale. Tell me what you think. Take care
Nice Angel, wait to sieze that mothering moment. I have to pray that I can do that each day, sieze those moments and treasure them. Too often I am in such a rush to get one thing after another done that I neglect to enjoy the moments with my children. Well said.
Great post. I love when you share your life lessons. I know that the party will be a success because you are focused on the children and not the schedule of events
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